{"id":1905,"date":"2010-02-06T08:00:46","date_gmt":"2010-02-06T13:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/?p=1905"},"modified":"2010-02-13T20:35:03","modified_gmt":"2010-02-14T01:35:03","slug":"you-always-do-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/?p=1905","title":{"rendered":"“You Always Do That!”"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think that “you always do that!” is one of the unkindest things you can say to a significant other. First, it’s an exaggeration. Though that person may engage in the offending behavior quite often, and certainly more often than you like, it’s improbable that they always<\/em> do it. No one’s that<\/em> consistent. Second, it’s an underhanded attack for which there’s little defense but to say, “No I don’t,” which just doesn’t cut it in the thick of the fray. It’s almost impossible to remember instances of when you didn’t<\/em> do something.\u00a0 Even if you do hit upon one and mention it, the discussion then heads downhill as the two of you rehash old events and the real issue falls by the wayside, unresolved. Third, if a person behaves a certain way often enough that you notice it, there’s a good chance that it’s more than mere habit. It may simply be part of their personality, in which case asking them to behave differently is like asking them to be someone else. Do you really want them to?<\/p>\n

I cringe every time the words “You always do that!” are spoken. Whether uttered by me or by someone else, it’s a nasty little phrase that lingers in the mind long after the sounds of the words fade. So let’s all try to find another way to voice our complaints, one that’s fair, that can be discussed rationally, and that has the potential to lead to a resolution.<\/p>\n

P.S. As my Faithful Reader pointed out in a nice way, this post is missing some info. “You always do that!” is only bad if it’s meant in a negative way. Specifically, I was concerned about its use as a complaint during an argument.
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I think that “you always do that!” is one of the unkindest things you can say to a significant other. First, it’s an exaggeration. Though that person may engage in the offending behavior quite often, and certainly more often than … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1905"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1905"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1905\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1967,"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1905\/revisions\/1967"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1905"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1905"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluefootedmusings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1905"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}