Avid reader, keeper of cats,
Writer of rhymes about ogres and hats.
For a long time, those two lines of verse were the only words to grace this page. It was strange, though, that anyone could live thirty some-odd years on this magnificent planet and have nothing more to say about themselves. How could that be?
It’s easy to lose sight of who you are. And it’s even easier to avoid looking too deeply inside, lest you discover something unpleasant, or worse yet, nothing at all. Rather than face that challenge, I wrote those two lines of verse. They said something while giving away nothing. They seemed perfect at the time.
I didn’t dare look too deep, and I caution others to learn from my example. If anyone ever asks you who you are, and you cannot answer the question, you had better turn yourself around, go back, and look for your poor, lost self. Don’t leave the question for another day. Don’t pretend that everything is fine and that you’ll feel more yourself tomorrow. Find the answer to the question.
Meanwhile I, not having the benefit of this advice, left the question for another day. That day arrived and I didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt completely lost. It seemed like every phrase I would once have used to describe myself was no longer applicable. It made me miserable, and it was quite a while before I figured out what the problem was.
So then I started to look for the answer to the question.
Who am I?
I’m a mother and a wife. I have three cats. I, my husband, our children, and the three cats all live together in a big house on the edge of a small forest.
Our life is good, full of laughter and love. Our life is difficult, with endless tasks and days when the time flows like molasses. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”
So much of my time and energy is spent on working and taking care of my children, there is very little left over for anything else. The babies came so soon. I didn’t have a chance to adjust to being a wife before being overwhelmed with motherhood. I’m so sleep-deprived that my brain is barely functioning. I cannot remember the immediate past, let alone the distant past.
I still love music. When I find the time and energy to play my piano, I am happy. I can finally play at a level high enough to satisfy myself. That is to say, I don’t have to be embarrassed to play for company, unless they’re concert pianists, in which case I will do the intelligent thing and ask them to play for me.
Politically I would describe myself as a moderate. That means liberals would call me conservative and conservatives would call me liberal. I definitely tend to side with the Democrats, but I have voted for Independents and Republicans, Green Party candidates, and once even a member of the Cool Moose Party. I vote for the person who best suits the job. But like so many Americans, I am disappointed by politicians at pretty much every level of government, regardless of their party affiliations.
I still like cheesy sci-fi TV shows, but I’ve come to dread sci-fi books because they’re almost universally awful. I watch too much TV. I also read too much. Right now, I particularly like Agatha Christie mysteries and YA books.
I enjoy walking. I enjoy taking pictures while I walk. I enjoy blogging about walking and taking pictures.
I have given up almost all of my one-time aspirations, leaving a gaping hole in my life that I am currently attempting to fill. The blog helps me feel like I’m accomplishing something while I wait for a new goal to present itself to me.
And that’s about all I can say about myself for the moment, but at least it’s something.