Birthdays, Planes, and Powerlessness

  • I had a good birthday. When I walked into my office in the morning, I found a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bag of biscoitos. Later I got to spend some time with my husband, whom I haven’t seen much of these last few weeks, because he’s been so busy with work. Then he and the kids and I went to dinner at the nearby Mexican restaurant that we’ve been meaning to try. The food was good, but a bit salty (however, reheated and served with plain rice, it made a yummy lunch the next day). I also spoke to my bestie on the phone. What more could I hope for?
  • Planes sometimes fly over our house, but usually just the very small ones or the very big ones flying so high that they don’t draw that much attention to themselves. Today, we heard such a ruckus above that we went outside to see what it was. It was a pair of fighter jets. Wow. They’re so cool, but so noisy!
  • We lost power suddenly and for no apparent reason this afternoon. I said to my husband, “I hope it’s not WWIII!” As I walked around outside later, because there was little to do inside that didn’t require electricity, I thought about how weird it would be to be relaxing outside and enjoying the late-summer weather as the world at large was, unbeknownst to me, falling into chaos. I realized that if it had indeed been the beginning of the Apocalypse, my joke about WWIII would have made feel bad afterward, as if suggesting the possibility of war could have somehow made me responsible for it. Weird. Perhaps I need to do what my old friend Tony use to always say I should do, and resign my position as General Manager of the Universe
  • While the power continued to be out, I kept thinking about things to do. Every single one needed power. So I sat down with a pen and paper and started a list called “Can Do Sans Elect.” I was just one item into the list (“cut nails”), when the power came back on. Thank God!
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9/1/2024

  • I went to CT to spend time with my bestie today. The weather report had predicted an overcast day with a chance of rain and the slight possibility of extreme weather. Consequently, I considered bringing my rain jacket and umbrella, but then decided my sweatshirt would be enough. So naturally, while we were out walking, the clouds let loose and drenched us to the bone. Other people might’ve ended their visit at that point, but we bought hot beverages, grabbed ourselves some non-porous seats, and proceeded to drip all over the floor of the coffeehouse while we chatted away. We weren’t about to let “a little rain” and some shivering spoil our time together. My reward, in addition to spending time with my friend, was that I found myself driving directly toward a huge rainbow on the way home. I had the heat in the car cranked up to 80 and the heated seats on full-blast, so by the time I got home, I was mostly dry. But I still took a very long, very hot shower when I got home in order to fully warm myself up.
  • I had started to notice, as I was headed across Rhode Island and into Connecticut, that there were quite a few political signs on lawns, but not any Trump/Vance or Harris/Walz signs. So, on my return trip, I paid closer attention. I saw only one Trump sign (in my own town, actually) and not a single Harris sign. I know why people might not be eager to show their loyalty to Harris. I suspect many Democrats, like myself, don’t want to draw the attention of Trump supporters, whom they consider to be a threat. But why the lack of Trump signs? I dare to hope that some of Trump’s one-time supporters have decided that they don’t want to associate themselves with him anymore, at least not publicly. Wouldn’t that be a nice thing?
  • I am tired now. Being cold always wears me out. So I plan to crawl into bed early tonight and either immerse myself in some Bridgerton or a good book.
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8/28/2024

  • After watching all of Netflix’s Geek Girl, which was unrealistic but utterly adorable, I was looking for something else to binge on. I clicked on Bridgerton, not expecting much. It turned out to be very soapy, but also highly entertaining.
  • As today is a day off from work, it would have been splendid to do something fun. Instead I did chores. I paid bills. I organized. Most of all I shopped. It is back-to-school time, after all. Honestly, I had intended to shop for school supplies in person this year, because it’s easier in some ways. But I just don’t like being at the store anymore, so the kids selected from the supplies already on hand, and then I ordered some additional items from Target and Amazon. Old Covid habits die hard, I guess.
  • Having gone through both kids’ wardrobes in anticipation of back-to-school clothes shopping, my next chore will be to bag up and donate their old non-fitting clothes. I also intend to go through my clothes, boxing up everything that’s too small, which will be a lot. Weight gain at my age is normal, but it wreaks havoc on the wardrobe. I’m trying to approach it in a pragmatic fashion. I may or may not lose the weight in the future. In the meantime, I’m not going to pine for my smaller-sized clothes, and I’m not going to dress uncomfortably. I’ll buy a whole new damned wardrobe if I need to.
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8/27/2024

  • I am officially on vacation until next Tuesday. Woohoo! It’s an awkward time for taking PTO, though, because I still don’t know if I’m going to get laid off. The axe could fall at any moment. Oh, well. I have no control over the situation or any ability to predict the outcome. All I can do is live my life, same as always. But I’ll probably check my e-mail every evening to find out if anything terrible has happened at work. Otherwise I don’t think I could handle the suspense.
  • A couple more packages arrived today. One package contained new comforters for my bedroom. The comforters had looked pretty online. In person, the colors were different and the fabric felt cheap. Too bad. I guess that’s why God invented returns. The other package contained two bathing suit tops. One top was too tight and will have to be returned. The other fit fine. I think I’ll keep it and make it my back-up. (This may sound silly, especially as someone who swims so infrequently, but I prefer to always have two swimsuits, just in case something happens to one of them).
  • I’ve been sleeping so poorly that I finally decided to try melatonin. I tried 3 mg for a few nights. No effect. So I tried 5 mg. Still no effect. So I tried 10 mg. Nothing. In fact, I slept worse each night that I took melatonin than I usually do, and that’s saying something. The only reason I’m not going completely insane from sleep deprivation is that when I can’t sleep, I can at least rest. But summer is almost over, and soon I won’t be able to rest either….
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Half-and-Half

I recently planned a little 2-day trip to Great Wolf Lodge for the kids later this year. I haven’t worn a bathing suit all year, so I figured I’d better check to see if my old ones fit. Alas, they don’t. Well, they could do in a pinch, but they pinch. So I ordered two new suits, one of which was technically a “swim dress,” and it arrived today. In the package with it was a clothing catalog that’s clearly meant for older (middle-aged and up) women. I’m half offended and half “Oh, those look so comfy!’

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7/27/2024

  • As I mentioned earlier this month, I had another eye doctor appointment. I hate those appointments. It’s a long drive for very little purpose. There’s nothing the doctor can do for me except tell me my condition’s “better,” “the same,” or “worse.” When they take pictures of my eye, they use colors to show the degree of splitting. Cool colors are good. Warm colors are bad, with red being very bad. But there is a color worse than red: white. My left eye has had a big white splotch in the middle of it for a while. At Thursday’s appointment, the white splotch was slightly smaller, so that’s an improvement. My right eye was stable, and actually tested 20/20, which was good. But, the doctor did nothing for me except renew my prescription, so what really was the point of being there? To some extent it’s just a money-making scheme for the doctor. If I hadn’t already exceeded my giant deductible for the year, the appointment would be pricey. Even with the deductible covered, I still have to pay 20%. Healthcare in America sucks.
  • Speaking of healthcare suckage, that hospital bill (the one for my knee) has gone to collections. I spoke to the collections people. They work for the hospital and are trying to collect on the hospital’s behalf (i.e., they did not purchase the debt). So, there’s no negotiating with them either. I explained to them why that bill was a scam, and they said, “We have nothing but your word for that.” Okay. So now I’m mentally sending a bit “Fuck you!” to the collections guys, too. I’m not going to pay that predatory bill. I mean, not only was I not informed that I’d be charged a premium for having my scheduled, non-emergency visit at the doctor’s “other location,” but the bill is higher than any other medical bill I’ve ever gotten, excepting surgery. It’s more than an emergency room visit. It’s more than an MRI. How dare they charge me thousands of dollars just for being in the building! As a person who prides herself on always paying her bills, it’s irking me not to pay, but damn it, they crossed a line.
  • Oh, and a couple of days ago I received a notice from a second collections agency that’s trying to collect on the same bill, also on behalf of the hospital. So one wasn’t enough, and now it’s a free-for-all? Geez. What the hell is this country coming to?
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Bombshell

The bombshell finally dropped at work. The company is offering severance packages to anyone in my department who volunteers to leave. The offer is one week’s pay per year of tenure, up to 26 weeks. It’s not a very good offer for newer hires, but 26 week’s pay would be pretty generous, which suggests to me that it’s the long-term employees, such as myself, that they’re hoping to unload. The scary part is that if they don’t get enough volunteers, they’re going to stop asking and start axing.

My knee-jerk reaction is to hold on and hope for the best. I’m a good employee, and they’d be stupid to let me go. But, I wish I knew how many people they’re going to cut, how they’ll decide, and how much severance pay will be given to those forced out. Obviously I’d rather leave of my own accord with a half a year’s salary in my pocket than be kicked to the curb with less. So, I’m not 100% decided yet. I will be giving it a lot of serious thought over the next couple of weeks.

P.S. I’d like to remind the Evil Genies AGAIN that when I said I was bored with my job, I also CLEARLY stated that I didn’t want to be forced out of it.

P.P.S. I should start looking for a new job, or at least start looking into how to look for a new job. But I don’t wanna. ๐Ÿ™

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7/18/2024

  • Livia can solve the Rubik’s Cube, and I’m impressed. She tried to explain how, but I didn’t get it. Rubik’s Cube is a puzzle that I’m never going to be able to solve, and I accepted that long ago, back when I was younger than Livia is now.
  • The kids’ swim lesson was canceled this week due to the weather. The sound of thunder could be heard in the distance, and indoor pools, like outdoor pools, get closed when there’s any chance of lightning. Their swim instructor, who is apparently a paleontologist with multiple degrees, had promised to give his students megalodon teeth to reward their progress. He kept his promise, handing each kid a giant shark tooth as we left. He said he had found the teeth himself in North (or was it South?) Carolina. Very cool!
  • Today I had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. I was so keen to spend time with the kids that I convinced them to keep me company for the trip there and back by offering to get us all an early dinner at McDonalds. Marshall said yes. Livia had to be coerced. To make it up to her, I let her get a McFlurry, and then I had to let Marshall get one, too, so everyone got something special out of the deal.
  • At work, there have been no new layoffs so far. Whew! And I was right about the systemic problem that I found in my work project: it had happened before. I’m just the only one who noticed. Not surprising. Still no word yet on whether I’ll have to start over again from scratch, though.
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Reading Report: Mid-July 2024

I was having the damnedest time finding a book to suit my mood, so my husband offered me three of his own books to read. They all sounded appealing, but the one I chose to read first was Black Sun Rising by C.S. Friedman. The story takes place on a planet called Erna that was colonized by the people of Earth about a 1,200 years prior. On Erna, there is a power called “the fae,” essentially a magic that swirls around the world in currents of differing intensities. There are several types of fae. I don’t totally understand how they work, but they can manifest human emotions, particularly fear. That is, if you imagine something creepy coming out of the dark to kill you, that’s exactly what might happen. Similarly, if you don’t believe that a machine will continue functioning, then it won’t. The dark fae is the most dangerous. It is dispelled by light, and light can also kill creatures created from it, so daytime is relatively safe. At night, people stay inside, hunkering down in structures that have been magically warded to keep the dark fae away.

The story: dark creatures of the fae arrive from a distant part of the planet and steal the memories and powers of Ciani, an adept with an inborn ability to see the fae and manipulate it. Her friends believe that killing the creature will restore her powers, so they take her on a journey to do just that. They are Senzei, her apprentice, and Damien, a priest with whom she has a romantic relationship. Along the way, the party is joined by the dark sorcerer Tarrant, who is on his own mission that happens to align with theirs, and Hessen, whose people, the rakh, native to the planet, are in danger from the same evil forces that attacked Ciani.

After I finished the book, my husband asked, “Will I like it?” And I didn’t know what to tell him. You can’t judge this sort of book on the same scale as you would, say, a book by Mark Twain. You have to judge it within the context of its genre. I would say that it’s on the same level as Pern and Darkover. If you can like those, then you can probably like this. I feel like the fae’s ability to manifest human emotion could have been explored a lot more, and that it also should have been explained more, including the way that the planet’s particular moons, stars, and sun functioned together and affected the fae. Still, I liked the book enough to give it an A- grade. I’d be willing read the sequels, though I hesitate to do so, because I dislike committing to series of long books (Black Sun Rising has 586 pages, and presumably the two sequels are just as long, if not longer).

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Horrors!

Somehow, though it’s not my favorite book or film genre, I’ve been on a bit of a horror kick lately.

  • The other night I watched a French shark-attack film called Under Paris (originally titled Sous la Seine). I’ve seen my share of shark films (Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, The Meg, and probably a few others that were forgettable). This one fared well in comparison. Story: a scientist tags a shark and monitors it until it unexpectedly turns violent and kills her whole team. Later, the signal from the tag is discovered in the Seine river in Paris. What is a marine animal doing in a fresh water river? Though still struggling emotionally with that grisly event in her past, the scientist joins forces with the police to find the shark before it hurts anyone else. The film had just the right amount of ridiculousness, it escalated perfectly, and it had a spectacular climax, not to mention that it was in French (subtitled, not dubbed). I loved it.
  • After the shark film, I starting watching Stranger Things on Netflix. I’m late to this particular party, I know, but whatever. I do things when I want to, not when the rest of the world thinks I should.
  • I also recently read a Southern Gothic by T. Kingfisher called A House With Good Bones. I struggled with the book at first. The author’s descriptions were confusing me. But, since I had preordered the book as a way of showing support for the author, whom I follow on Twitter, I felt a strong compulsion to finish it. With perseverance, I got past the communication issues, letting the story wash over me without focusing too much on certain details. There wasn’t much to the story: entomologist Sam Montgomery is temporarily out of work and goes to live with her mom in her grandmother’s old house. The mom is behaving strangely, as if terrified, and weird things are happening around the house, all seemingly linked to something dark and mysterious in the past. I’m not not sure that I love it as a horror story, but the main character keeps up an entertaining patter of bug trivia mixed with amusing observations on life (“snarky mundanity,” one blurbist called it). The book is worth reading for that alone.

P.S. I liked the phrase “snarky mundanity,” so I looked up the author who had used it in his blurb for A House With Good Bones. His name was Travis Baldree. I figured that if he’d written anything that sounded interesting, I’d consider seeking it out. As it turns out, I need look no further than my own bookshelf. A friend gave me a copy of his book Legends & Lattes as a gift. It’s just sitting there, waiting to be read. How serendipitous!

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