All Risk and No Reward

Recently I finished a task that I’d been putting off for months. As is typical for me, I kept putting the thing off, thinking I’d feel better up to it at a later point. Every day for weeks I’d say to myself, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” As more time went by, I changed my mantra to “I’ll get to it eventually.” And as often happens, the task became more daunting in my mind while also literally becoming harder to accomplish (in this case, because I’d lost my access to some key paperwork in the intervening time). Then a crisis point was reached, so I had to act, whether I felt up to it or not.

It doesn’t matter what the task was, which is why I haven’t spelled it out. What matters is that I’m old enough to know that procrastination is a dumb-ass way of handling things. Experience has taught me that nothing becomes easier by letting it sit. Though there are admittedly some things that become irrelevant if you let them sit long enough, they’re still things that ought to have been done, and there’s always something lost in the not-doing. Leaving a task to weigh on your mind also causes guilt and stress, neither of which is fun or conducive to good living.

Everything worked out fine this time, but what if it hadn’t? I’ve had several of these types of situations recently, things that ultimately turned out OK but that could have cost me (or someone close to me) because of my delay. I was stupid to allow that possibility. And I know that as I grow older, the perils of procrastination will only increase, and that to procrastinate over something it to risk never doing it. I must remember that time is not on my side and that procrastination is all risk and no reward.

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Paid in Full

We paid off our mortgage this month, and on Saturday we got the official notice from the bank. Woohoo!

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Not That Old

My hubby and I both were made to feel old last week. For me, it was my physical therapist saying that I’m “almost the exact same age” as her mom. I can’t speak for my husband, but my feelings were totally grounded in logic. I don’t have any fully grown children, therefore I am not old enough to have any. Obviously. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Things I Like

Earlier this week I started physical therapy for my shoulder, which has been causing me excruciating pain lately. The diagnosis: shoulder impingement and rotator cuff tendonitis. I had physical therapy for my knee previously, which I kind of enjoyed, and I hope therapy for my shoulder will turn out to be similarly “fun.” Yes, I know there will be pain, and no, I don’t like pain. But, physical therapy will also give me a reason to get out of the house, meet new people, learn new things, and make good progress. Those things I like!

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TGIF

Friday, as the end of the workweek, is supposed to be a day to look forward to, a day when you can feel the metaphorical yoke lifting off your shoulders, however briefly. But, because my music lessons were on Friday, that day had become stressful for me. It’s not that I didn’t like the lessons. I did. But I’d run out of energy and brain space, and I was not only sometimes failing to meet my composition deadlines, but also putting myself in danger of missing my work deadlines. Having quit my lessons last week, today I had my first Fridaylike Friday in eons, and it was awesome.

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Worth It

My daughter decided at the last minute that she actually did want to go to the homecoming dance and would I pretty-please take her dress shopping right now? It was Friday night, after my music lesson, and I was tired, but I figured I had just enough energy left to handle a trip to the outlet mall she wanted to go to. Having been dress-shopping there with her friend just a few days before, she knew exactly which store to go to, and she found a dress she liked quickly. We popped into a couple of other stores including, of course, Lindt, then headed home with our loot. All in all, it was a good trip.

But, wandering around an outdoor mall in cold weather while still recovering from a cold turned out not to be a great choice medically speaking. Between that and the flu shot I’d gotten Thursday, I relapsed Saturday and ended up spending part of the day in bed. I got up long enough to see her off to the dance. She looked fabulous.

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Doctors, Doctors, Doctors

Last week was a big week for doctor’s appointments. Not only did I see my eye doctor on Monday, but I had back-to-back appointments with my new GP and OB-GYN on Thursday. Still feeling under-the-weather, I would have preferred to reschedule both of Thursday’s appointments. I even called up my GP’s office to see if that were possible, but they told me they were booking into April of next year. So, just as I had on Monday, I put on my mask and hoped for the best.

I don’t know that I love my new GP, but as options are extremely limited these days, I’m just glad to have one. She listened to my concerns and wrote me some relevant scripts, and that’s all one can ask. Sick though I felt, she deemed me healthy enough for a flu shot, so I got one while I was there. I love the convenience.

My OB-GYN seemed harried, which was disappointing. I’d switched to her care because she’d seemed less harried than my old doctor. Oh, well. I don’t blame her. The medical field is pretty well messed up these days. Too many patients, too few doctors. On her way out of the room, she wished me well and told me that my job was to stay “medically uncomplicated.” Ha! I doubt my eye doctor would say I was medically uncomplicated, but I suppose it’s good that at least one doctor thinks that I am.

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Taking a Break

I broke up with my music boyfriend last week.

That is, I ended my music lessons.

I’d intended to wait until the end of October, but by Friday I felt 100% certain about what I wanted to do. Plus, I thought it would be nice to give my teacher a few weeks notice so that he could arrange for a new student to replace me. Unexpectedly, he said he’s so busy preparing for his upcoming concerts that he wouldn’t mind some extra time in his schedule, and he offered me a refund on the three lessons he owed me. I accepted. We parted amicably, with him saying he’d be happy to teach me again and me saying I’d call him if I needed his help again.

I am concerned that I’ll give up on composing now that I don’t have lessons to keep me focused. I’d hoped to find a local teacher who would be more flexible timewise. Neither of the queries I sent out last week led to anything. Too bad. On the other hand, I really do need a break, so for now I will take one and be grateful that I have a little extra money in my pocket.

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Eyesight Over Money

On Monday, I had an eye doctor appointment. I would have preferred not to go out, because I was still sick. However, appointments are hard to get, so I put on my KN95 mask and hoped I wouldn’t sneeze in it. Knowing that my eyes would be dilated this time, my husband kindly chauffeured me, and at least I got to relax during the ride.

It was a long wait to see the doctor, and the news, when I finally got it, was not good. Both of my eyes have gotten worse. The left is now so bad that I’m at risk of developing a hole in my retina. The doctor referred me to a specialist up in Boston to get a second opinion.

The specialist is not in my health insurance network, and I have zero out-of-network coverage, so I will have to pay out of pocket. That’s fine, I guess. I would have to pay out of pocket regardless, thanks to my high deductible, and my eyesight is far more important to me than money. But I do worry about how much money this will ultimately cost us . . .

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Trials and Tribulations

My hubby and I signed up for a free 7-day trial of Apple TV. I wanted to watch Foundation, and we thought it made sense to check out Apple TV’s other offerings now, with the goal of maybe trying to get a reduced-cost subscription around Christmastime if it still seemed worthwhile. My hubby set it all up using my computer and ran into no problems. But the moment I tried to sign in to cancel the trial so that we wouldn’t get charged, suddenly the website had numerous additional demands (such as my cell phone number) and persistent glitches that couldn’t be gotten around. I literally couldn’t sign into my account, even after going through several different authentication processes, and it pissed me off.

Shortly after this frustrating ordeal, I got a receipt from Apple in my e-mail. They’d charged us for the month. Grrrr.

I realize that by the time I tried to sign in, it was probably too late to cancel. And that’s on me, because I’m the one who got the e-mail verifying our subscription, and I should have read the fine print. But just because it’s my fault doesn’t mean I can’t grrr over it, and certainly all those computer glitches were NOT my fault.

Meanwhile, on the bright side, now I’ll be able to watch more Foundation and Murderbot and all sorts of other things. Anyone inclined to call me a glass-half-empty, pessimistic type, should take note of this, because I’m very optimistic about my future TV watching. ๐Ÿ˜›

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