Blue-Footed Musings

• I deactivated my Twitter account today. If I don’t reactivate it within 30 days, it will be permanently deleted, and permanent deletion is the goal. I also posted a good-bye message on Facebook, and I’ll be deactivating that account shortly. Last week, I’d thought I’d wait until closer to the end of the year to delete my social media. I expedited the change because I was wallowing too much. A little wallowing was called for, but there are limits, and I have better things to do.
• My WaPo subscription will end tomorrow, and I canceled the NYT a while ago. So, I’m pretty much without a dependable news source. That’s fine for now. I don’t want to dwell on the news anyway. I’m planning to read through just enough of the headlines each day to get a broad understanding of current events without getting caught up in the details or getting upset about them. That’s how I got through the end of the previous shit-show, and I hope it will work again. My only regret is that I’m not supporting any journalists. I will look for ways to do that next year.
• I’ve decided not to cut ties with friends and family whose politics disagree with my own. When spending time with these people, I probably won’t deliberately introduce any political topics. But I also won’t shy away from them. If the subjects arise, I’m going to say what I think, and I’m not going to worry too much about anybody’s fee-fees. I’m not going to be rude (I hope), but I’m also not going to coddle anyone’s ego. The time for coddling is over. The time for raw truth has come.

So many emotions to process. Yesterday was sadness. Today is anger. Now I’m starting to get a terrible feeling in my gut, the beginnings of anxiety. All normal feelings, none fun. But I hope that soon I’ll be able to get past those and settle on that particular form of low, simmering anger that is so good for driving me forward in a positive direction.

We were supposed to go to Great Wolf Lodge for today and tomorrow, but that didn’t work out as planned. Yesterday I went to do the early check-in, which I had expected to do online, but the instructions were for phones only. 🙁 Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about using smart phones for these kinds of things. It’s not just that the technology befuddles me somewhat, but also because I don’t want my whole life dependent on that one piece of technology.

So I went to the website to sign into my account and look for a way to check-in online. That’s when I discovered a startling bit of news: half the water park is closed for renovations. I had not been told about that when I made my reservation. How could they not tell me? And how could they expect me to pay full price for half a park? Not cool.

So I called them up and asked them to move my reservation. They tried to tell me the new date would be more expensive, but when I refused to accept the higher price, the representative pulled a promotional code out of her a$$ that magically made it cheaper instead. Really? Everywhere I turn, I find a business asking for a lot more money than they’re willing to accept, just to see if I’ll go for it. Corporate greed is everywhere. Never accept the first price you’re offered on anything!

So now I have a whole day to fill. Since the kids won’t be skipping school tomorrow, I guess I’d better do my usual Sunday tasks, including laundry. How boring! But I suppose it’s better than being on vacation and being disappointed by it.

• I am officially on vacation until next Tuesday. Woohoo! It’s an awkward time for taking PTO, though, because I still don’t know if I’m going to get laid off. The axe could fall at any moment. Oh, well. I have no control over the situation or any ability to predict the outcome. All I can do is live my life, same as always. But I’ll probably check my e-mail every evening to find out if anything terrible has happened at work. Otherwise I don’t think I could handle the suspense.
• A couple more packages arrived today. One package contained new comforters for my bedroom. The comforters had looked pretty online. In person, the colors were different and the fabric felt cheap. Too bad. I guess that’s why God invented returns. The other package contained two bathing suit tops. One top was too tight and will have to be returned. The other fit fine. I think I’ll keep it and make it my back-up. (This may sound silly, especially as someone who swims so infrequently, but I prefer to always have two swimsuits, just in case something happens to one of them).
• I’ve been sleeping so poorly that I finally decided to try melatonin. I tried 3 mg for a few nights. No effect. So I tried 5 mg. Still no effect. So I tried 10 mg. Nothing. In fact, I slept worse each night that I took melatonin than I usually do, and that’s saying something. The only reason I’m not going completely insane from sleep deprivation is that when I can’t sleep, I can at least rest. But summer is almost over, and soon I won’t be able to rest either….