Dear Livia,
We celebrated the 5th anniversary of your birth with a small party, just the four of us. We bought you a cake and a present, and we had plenty of fun. But your father and I felt bad that you don’t always get the big extended-family party like Marshall does. It’s usually due to weather (your birthday party is like a snow magnet!), but this year it was due to a lack of planning. We decided then that you should have the big party, too, late though it was. We scheduled it for the very last day of the month.
You and I happened to be out the day before your party, and I brought you to Target so you could pick out a gift for yourself. While we were waiting in line, you told the woman behind us that you were turning six! You were very excited about the idea of catching up in age with your brother.
But you must have sensed that something wasn’t quite right. On the way home, you asked, “Am I really turning six?” I tried to let you down easy, explaining that it’s the date, not the party, that changes your age. You seemed to understand.
So then everything was all set for the party. Even the weather turned out beautifully. But you, my poor dear, woke up with a fever of 104. You stayed in bed all morning, which is very unusual for you, a sure sign that you were truly unwell. When we told you that we were going to postpone the party, even that wasn’t enough to make you get out of bed. It just made you cry. You were so miserable that we promised you an extra little present and some cake. (This really worked out in your favor, because ultimately you got three presents from us and three cakes, lucky girl!)
The day before the rescheduled party, you happily chattered about turning five-and-a-half. What? Oh, no. You still thought the party was going to make you older!
Well, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. You’ve always seemed older than your calendar age, partly because you’ve always striven to keep up with your brother. If given the chance, you’d probably rocket straight through the next few years so that you could skip to the ages that come with more independence.
With that thought in mind, let me offer you some motherly advice on aging.
- Slow down. Don’t rush your childhood. I know that most kids just want to grow up, and you more than some. But I also know that you will never swim in such a large and wild ocean of time again. Treasure it while you can.
- Enjoy the stage you’re in now. Don’t experience your youth as a series of jumps from one milestone to another. Be happy in this moment, instead of always looking ahead to the next thing.
- Last but not least, when you finally get to an age that makes you feel old, remember that you’re always younger now than you will be later. Someday you’ll look back on where you are now and think that you were so young then. That will be as true at 30 looking back on 20 as it will be at 40 looking back on 30, and so forth and so on, for the rest of your life. So savor your youth, and you might always have it.
This advice is way over your head now, Sunshine, but maybe someday you can use it. Or totally ignore it, which is what most people do with advice from their parents. At least you’ll have it, though, and know that I love you and wish you the best in life, at all times, whether you’re five, or six, or one-hundred six.
Love,
Mom