Dear Free Anti-Virus Program: Don’t tell me what’s wrong with my computer unless you are offering to fix it for free.
Dear Furniture Store: Do not call me at 7:20 a.m, when I am too busy sleeping in my bed to discuss the delivery of other furniture.
Dear Sky: You are so lovely in October.
Dear Republicans: What is wrong with you? Do you want a tyrant? Do you secretly hate liberty? Do you like being lied to and taken advantage of?
Dear Deer: It was really cute the way you almost seemed to want to come over to me when I said “hi” to you. Thanks for letting me take a picture of your face instead of turning tail on me and running away.
Dear Can of Fizzy Bev: Why did you hide from me until the exact moment when I opened another can? That was so mean.
Dear Husband: Thanks for feeding the kids.
Dear Kids: Thanks for getting your father to feed you.
Dear TV: I’ll be there in a few minutes. Looking forward to some Netflix!