It has been a bad year for the blog. I haven’t written much. I could blame it on being busier. My music composition lessons have certainly taken up a lot of my time. But, honestly, I really just wasn’t in the mood to write.
No, let me rephrase that. It went beyond “mood.” I stopped wanting to write. I stopped caring about recording the events of my life. I stopped caring about a lot of things. I don’t know exactly what “broke” me, but this year affected me in a way that I didn’t (and still don’t) know how to combat. My coping strategies weren’t cutting it.
Still, I like to think that, outside of the blog, I’ve put on a good act, and that I seemed perfectly normal, maybe even more energetic, because of my music lessons. I doubt my boss would suspect–I met all my deadlines! My kids might even have been fooled. Probably not my husband (he knows, even if he doesn’t know that he knows). But I knew, and I’ve been unhappy about the gaps in my blog this year. I will try to do better from now on, even if my mood continues to be so horrible.
So, here are my thoughts today.
- My son did very well on his first-quarter report card. What he didn’t mention was that he’d made high honors. I just realized it today, when I stumbled across the honor roll in the local newspaper. When I congratulated him, he said he was worried that he’d set too high a standard and that next time he might just be “ordinary honors.” I told him that “ordinary honors” would still be really good and that I was so proud of him. OMG, what a wonderful son I have.
- For Christmas, my daughter asked for some books that might be a little mature for her reading age. I bought them for her anyway, but they arrived late. I gave them to her today and told her that I believed her to be mature enough to handle them, but that if they made her uncomfortable, that she should stop reading them. I added that she could come to me if there was ever anything that she wanted to talk about. She told me that of course she would come to me if she ever wanted to talk about anything. OMG, what a wonderful daughter I have.