At work there has been no official news, but I heard indirectly that our jobs are probably safe for a few months. The schedule is tight, which means my department will likely be needed at full capacity for a while. But, given how quickly recycled material can be put together, I’d say we’ve got six months tops.
During the previous round of layoffs, I worried about losing my job, but I never really thought they’d let me go. This time I’m less sure. From a long-term standpoint, they’d be stupid to let me go, but given how they’re doing things now, I don’t think the long term is a big consideration. I’m putting my odds at 50/50.
In a way, the previous layoffs did me some good. They changed my expectations. I used to think I’d keep working as long as I wanted and/or needed to. Once I knew my employment wasn’t guaranteed, I started to think differently. I started hoping simply to get another five years out of it. When I spoke to my brother in January, I told him I’d feel lucky to get another two. I’ve already lowered my expectations so much that if the axe falls on me now I might just say, “Whatever.” And if working with the recycled material is as bad as I anticipate, I might even be relieved to say good-bye.
But I am crushed. This is the end of an era for me. Much of my identity is tied up in my job, and I genuinely enjoy what I do. Now, just like that, it’s all changed.
However, I will not worry. I refuse to. I’ll do whatever tasks are put before me, same as always. I’ll collect my paychecks for as long as they last or until I decide I can’t stomach my radically-changed job anymore. And that’s all I’m going to do. No fretting. No contingency planning. Just going with the flow and hoping the flow goes well.