Why do we have all of these prescribed dates, holidays and events for which we are obligated to give gifts? It creates stress around times when we should be celebrating and fosters the idea that gift-giving must be reciprocated. People think that if they receive a gift, they must give one of equal or greater value in return. That means if you give someone a gift unexpectedly, you’re imposing on them. Giving is therefore now only acceptable at mutually agreed-upon times.
That kind of thinking takes all the giving out of giving and it squelches the Christmas spirit like nothing else. A few years ago, I bought small Christmas gifts for my coworkers because we had a great vibe in the office and I wanted to celebrate it. Then, a few weeks before Christmas, one of them started grumbling about the holiday. She said she hoped no one in the office would give her a gift because then she would feel obligated to give something back. She didn’t just say it once, but many times. And loudly. Each time it felt like she had slapped me across the face. After listening to the tirade several times, I simply couldn’t give her the gift, nor could I give the gifts I had bought for the others lest it appear that I was deliberately snubbing her. I can’t remember ever feeling lower at Christmas than that year.
How I wish we could just give gifts when we felt like it and receive them without any need to reciprocate!