Remembering

I can’t believe it’s been ten years since 9/11. How can a whole decade have passed and my feelings still be so raw that I can hardly stand them? When I think about that day, my eyes fill with tears, but they are tears that should be cried, so today I remember and I weep.

In honor of the anniversary, I have decided to share an excerpt from my journal entry for that day.

9/11/2001

I cried almost all the way to work. It was so strange driving on a sunny day with little traffic, so normal, while listening to report after report about the terrorist bombings. . . . Thousands of people are dead today. There were sirens all day. . . . I keep wondering how many people, realistically, of the 50,000 people who worked in the WTC, could have escaped before the towers collapsed into a pile of rubble and paper. . . . I am so alone right now. I feel so bad for all those poor souls who died today and their families. I feel bad for the country. I worry that our president is a moron who will manage to screw this situation up and, if it’s possible, make things worse. Even worse than not retaliating would be retaliating against the wrong people. I worry that the country will go to war. Someone, it seems, has declared war on us. On me. On everyone I love.

Reading this journal entry now, it seems that I grieved not just for the horrors of the day but for the future which was to come. I still feel the same way. I am still grieving not only for the ten years behind us but also for the aftershocks still to be felt. I grieve, but I also hope. Let there be better days ahead.

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