Dear Livia,
I wrote this post 10/18/2012 in a journal and forgot to transfer it to the blog. Until now.
When I was pregnant with you, people asked me if I had bought all sorts of cute baby clothes for you. I replied that I intended to dress you in Marshall’s old things. Why shouldn’t a girl wear blues and greens and browns with dinosaurs and trucks and motorcycles?
But Marshall was a summer baby, and you were a winter baby. His clothes just didn’t fit you seasonally. I still try from time to time to use his clothes: a onesie here, a pair of pants there. Occasionally it works, and when you wear those things, both your father and I say, “We can still tell that she’s a girl.”
Well, you father did not see the outfit that I put on you this morning. Thinking nostalgically of the one-piece garments that were the mainstay of Marshall’s wardrobe, I couldn’t wait to put you in the one I had pulled out of the storage box. It was the only one that seemed likely to fit you. I didn’t let the masculine design (blue and brown stripes, plus a dinosaur) deter me.
You cried so much this morning, it was almost as if you objected to wearing such a thing. Even when I was holding you, you screamed. I made you your bottle and that finally calmed you down. Around and around you toddled. The more I watched you the more I was convinced you looked like a boy. I realized then that I didn’t want you to look like a boy.
The outfit was a little short in the sleeves. I thought to myself, “Perhaps I should change her so she’ll be more comfortable.” But I couldn’t quite make myself do it. Then I had a brilliant thought: “Perhaps she’s had a diaper disaster!” And wouldn’t you know it, your diaper was full and a wardrobe change was in order (well, actually just barely justifiable, but that was good enough for me).
Now you are wearing a feminine, flowered onesie with matching pants. You look like a girl again. And though I remember those one-piece outfits of Marshall’s as being easy, my God, they had a lot of snaps! Just three on your onesie. Much better, all around.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Though I have admitted here to deliberately dressing you in feminine clothing, you should know that I won’t allow you to wear anything that says “Princess” on it, and I only allow you to wear pink so often because it works well with your skin tone.