Until a few days ago it had been rather quiet here at Blue-Footed Musings. After years of blogging, I can authoritatively state that an absence of posts indicates one of two things: either I’m extraordinarily busy or I’m in a really bad mood. I’m rarely that busy, so silence on the blog usually means I’m feeling blue.
What I cannot tell you, though, is which comes first, the unhappiness or the silence. Do I feel blue because I’m not writing? Or do I stop writing because I’m feeling blue?
For me, it’s the latter, I think. As the depression deepens, one by one all those activities I enjoy become “too much work” that I’m “too tired” to do. I’ve never quite figured out what causes the bounce back up, but that whole aging thing does prove time and again that eventually the energy to do them returns. I wish you renewed vim soon.
My case is probably similar to yours. When I’m feeling down, I can’t come up with any new ideas for writing. If I go looking for them, all I find is blankness. And if I miraculously have an idea to use, I can’t seem to string the words together in a way that makes sense. It not only feels like too much work but also like a painful exercise in futility. So I think I just shy away from trying to write until I feel better. But I do sometimes wonder if I forced myself to write every day then maybe that would somehow order my thoughts better and keep me on more of an even keel. But probably not.
Anyway, thanks for the vimmy wishes. A few beautiful, sunny days might help. We’re bound to get some eventually.