Blue-Footed Musings

On Monday I had my appointment with the retina specialist. I wish I could say that she’d taken one look at my eyes, told me exactly what was going on, and gave me a sure-fire cure. Unfortunately she couldn’t tell me the things that I most wanted to know, which are why my retina is breaking down and what is likely to happen to my vision. She did at least confirm and elaborate on some of what I’d read online: retinoschisis does sometimes have a genetic element (she told me to ask my parents if anyone in the family was blind or had suffered major vision loss), it is common in people with myopia (but, as I’d suspected, I’m not nearly as myopic as would be considered typical for this kind of problem), and there is a surgical procedure that can be used (but only if a hole develops in my retina, at which time they’ll “try to put it back together again”).

I have an appointment to see the specialist again in two months, but at a different office, where they have the capacity to do genetic testing. I do want to know why my retina’s breaking down, but I’m not sure how much the genetic testing will help with treatment. Maybe knowing if it’s genetic might give them some clue as to how it will develop? In the meantime, I’m supposed to use prescription eye drops twice per day. This medicine is, according to the literature, also used to treat glaucoma. The hope is that it will reduce pressure in my eye and get the fluid out of the area between the layers of my retina–to “settle it down,” so to speak. Though the problem is much worse in my right eye than my left, I need to treat both eyes.

I put off starting the eye drops for a couple of days, because I hate taking medicine, especially in eye-drop form. But, surely blindness must be worse than eye drops, I reasoned, and I started using the medicine on Thursday. It stings and makes my eyes red, and it causes a nasty smell/taste behind my nose that slowly works its way down into my mouth (yuck!). I’m getting used to it, though, which is good, because I’ve got to do this twice per day for another two months at least.

I called my mother after the appointment to ask her about our family history. I figured I should do it while the thought was still fresh in mind. A surprising number of people in the family have suffered vision loss, but all from other causes. My mom seemed really worried about me, so I told her that the doctor hadn’t given me any indication that the situation was dire. That seemed to make her feel a little better, and it is true, of course. I don’t much care to lie, even to make my mom feel better. But it’s also true that doctors usually try not to worry their patients, and the very fact that she asked about family blindness suggests that blindness is a likely outcome. I try not to think about that, though. I don’t know enough right now to be either optimistic or pessimistic, so I’m aiming for neutral, with just a slight edge of irritation because my eyes are so red and sting-y.

I play the NYT‘s Spelling Bee game every day. I play until I hit the Genius level, and then, unless I have more words already in mind, I stop. It’s important to have a stopping place, otherwise I’d spend too much time on the game. Sometimes I find words that the app won’t accept as valid entries. Usually I’m OK with that, because I know a lot of weird words that I shouldn’t expect other people to know. But, if I really feel that the words ought to have been accepted, I send the editors an e-mail. Today I sent them the words MIDDEN (trash heap), UNDIMMED, and MUEZZIN (person who calls Muslims to prayer). All three words are in Merriam-Webster, and I would have finished the game a lot faster if those words had been accepted (though MUEZZIN would have been sort of a cheat, since I initially spelled it wrong and then looked up the correct spelling–it’s a great word, but a doozy to spell!).

I am still reading Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler. I’m about halfway through, far enough to be invested and motivated to finish it. But, the story has gotten really grim and violent, and it will be hard going from here, I suspect.

I am also reading On Writing Romance: How to Craft a Novel That Sells by Leigh Michaels. It’s roughly 15 years old, so I have to assume that the parts about the publishing market and the categories of romance are no longer entirely accurate or complete. The rest of it looks like it will be helpful, though.

I finished The Proposal by Jasmine Guillory (grade B+). The story is about Nik, a writer, whose short-term boyfriend unexpectedly proposes to her at a baseball game, as the whole world watches. She says no, and he gets mad, then storms off. Before she can make a getaway, a camera crew swoops in to make a juicy news story out of her. But Carlos, a kind and considerate doctor who is there watching the game with his sister, sees what’s about to happen. He and his sister step in and rescue Nik from the press. So begins a friendship between Nik and Carlos that soon blooms into romance, but can they commit to a relationship, or do they want to keep it strictly casual? Reading this book, I learned a lot about what I like about romance novels, and what I don’t like, and about how I would have proceeded if I’d written the story myself. It was educational in that way, and entertaining.

Covid isn’t over, but the people of Rhode Island are over it. The governor has dropped the state mask mandate, and now the school board has voted to make masks optional as of 3/4. I knew this was coming, so it’s no big shocker, and I guess I’m OK with it. If given the choice, Livia will probably ditch the mask and Marshall will probably keep it, at least for a while. Though I’d rather they both continued to wear masks, I’m not sure that forcing it on Livia would be wise. But, we don’t need to decide today. We still have some time to think about it.

The school superintendent also announced that, excepting the new air filtration systems, they’re going back to business as usual (i.e., no more Covid mitigation measures). I guess I should have realized that was coming, too. I’m not comfortable with the idea of dropping all preventative measures. It seems like asking for trouble. But, that’s just the way it is. I have no power to change this, and stressing over it won’t do me any good. The Pandemic has taught me that much.