Random Thoughts

  • I found out today that my new neighbor went to Boston University and graduated two years after I did. It’s not unusual to run into another BU alum (it’s a large school), or even that unusual to meet one who was there at the same time, but it is always nice to find things in common with other people.
  • I woke up (and got up) before my alarm went off this morning. That would suggest that I’m adapting to the new morning schedule. But, I neglected to eat until 2:00 in the afternoon, which would suggest that I’m not adapting well.
  • I wrote a couple of pages for my novel today. It wasn’t deliberate. It just sort of happened. I noticed that there was a file on my computer called “So-and-so’s death seems a bit sudden and cliche.” The next thing I knew, I was writing a less sudden and (I hope) less cliche death for her. She doesn’t have to die, but she has to leave, because her absence is necessary for the development of another character. Trying out different ways for her to leave is a good writing exercise, whether or not it yields any good writing.
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The Past is Present

I haven’t been getting any new e-mail from one of my e-mail accounts. My husband says it’s because the e-mail provider has changed servers and my e-mail settings have to be updated accordingly. That makes sense, but can he explain how I am traveling backward in time? Suddenly I’m getting e-mails from 2019, and oh no! The summer camp color run has been canceled! As a traveler from a dark future, I can’t help but laugh at the people of 2019 and their little disappointments. How naive they are, like country bumpkins who have never been to the Big City. Their innocence is unspoiled by any hint of what’s coming for them in 2020, when everything will be cancelled, not just the color run, not just the summer camp, but all the activities and all the social gatherings. Honestly, the summer of 2019 didn’t seem so great when I first experienced it, but it feels different on this second time through–safer, kinder, easier. I almost wish that I could stay, but there’s all that unread e-mail waiting for me in the future….

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No Need to Rush

Are you wondering if your life’s mission is complete? If you’re still alive, the answer is no.

When I first encountered the preceding quote, it struck me as comforting. How nice it would be to believe that I had a life’s mission and that I had time left to complete it. After all, I’m approaching 50, my internal clock is starting to wind down, and I can’t help but wonder if there is some purpose to my life other than just getting by. But, then it occurred to me that one might alternatively interpret the quote as saying, “Hey, there’s no need to rush. Keep putting off your life’s mission. You’re not going to die until it’s done anyway!” Unfortunately, my procrastinating half heard me think that. She likes that interpretation better, and she’s the one in charge. So much for the mission!

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Change the Channel

Regarding intrusive thoughts:

The brain is supposed to respond to a threat by making us pay more attention to it as if it’s a saber tooth tiger. The problem is it’s a false alarm. I guess a good analogy would be, it’s not that the TV is broken, it’s that you’re watching the wrong channel. If you don’t like the show that’s on, the thing to do isn’t to try to fix your TV. The thing is to learn how to change the channel.

Jonathan Abramowitz (a clinical psychologist specializing in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy)
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Everything Multiplies

Everything multiplies. Not necessarily literally, of course, and not without exceptions, but as a general principle, everything you allow or invite into your life is likely to increase and spread. Tendencies grow stronger. Habits extend themselves into unexpected places. Things accumulate and grow.

The reason I mention this is because I would like to do more writing, and if there’s anything I ought to have learned by now, it’s that writing multiplies. Looking at my old blog posts and journal entries, it’s one of the most obvious lessons to be drawn from them. The writing starts in one place but it doesn’t stop there. It always spreads, moving from my journal, say, to my blog or vice versa, and from there into an essay or a scrap of song. The more I write, the more I write. Writing begets more writing.

I wish, though, as I always wish, and as every writer wishes, that writing were easier. But there’s no special method or magic that’s going to make writing easier, no way past the discomfort except to work through it, nothing to make words appear on the page except to write them. The only way to write is to write. That’s it. End of story.

Or the beginning of one.

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Three Things About Me

  • I hate cold so much that after brushing my teeth I rinse with warm water instead of cold.
  • I seem to have inherited the strange belief that problems can be immediately and completely fixed by buying things. So I often buy things with the intention of using them to fix problems, but then never use them. It’s as if the purchase convinces my brain that the problem has been solved and that no further action is needed or even desired. I say that I “inherited” this belief, because I’ve seen my parents do exactly the same thing many times. But, now that I’m aware of the behavior, I’m trying to stop.
  • I love the flavor of real maple syrup, light or dark, but I don’t like foods or beverages flavored to taste like maple. Fake maple flavor is gross.
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Almost Ready for School

After several online shopping sessions plus a marathon hottest-day-ever shopping trip yesterday in a car with no air conditioning (ugh!), I am mostly done with back-to-school shopping. Today I purchased some KN95 masks. I wish I had thought to order them earlier. We’d gotten so used to wearing cloth masks that it didn’t immediately occur to me to buy something different. But, given how contagious Delta is and how uncomfortable cloth masks are, the KN95’s will probably be a lot better. I hope they will arrive soon. In the meantime, we have plenty of cloth masks, all washed and ready to wear.

Over the weekend, I should…

  • Find all the lunch containers, water bottles, and freezer packs, and make sure they’re clean and ready to use.
  • Plan out a lunch menu with Livia (and Marshall, if he’s interested), then go to the grocery store to buy anything we need.
  • Wash the kids’ new clothes.
  • Consider a trip to the shoe store. It needs to be done eventually, but I will put it off for a few more weeks if I can. It all depends on Livia’s sneakers, which she says are starting to break down. I’ll take a look at them, then decide.

The hardest thing left to do is to prepare myself mentally, physically, and emotionally for the coming week. I am not happy about the kids returning to school under these circumstances. It would be easier if we lived in the South, because then we’d know to keep our children home. It would also be easier if we lived in, say, Vermont, where vaccination rates are higher, because then we’d feel safer about sending them to school. Here it feels like a crapshoot. And while that is my biggest concern, I have to admit that I am also not looking forward to the early mornings. The adjustment will be painful.

At least the kids are excited to return. I asked Marshall what about school he was most looking forward to, and he said, “Not being stuck at home all the time.” Amen to that.

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Of All the Luck

We bought a Powerball or Megabucks or something like that while we were on vacation, and we still haven’t checked yet to see if we won. To go by past experience, there’s a strong possibility that my husband will bring the ticket to me after it expires and ask me to look up the numbers to see what we would have won. His theory is that we’re winners until proven otherwise, so he’s disinclined to look up the numbers, and sometimes he takes it just a little too far. I don’t think we’ve lost any money this way (except by having purchased the tickets to begin with, of course), because the odds of winning anything are so low. But, having publicly stated that, we absolutely need to check this particular ticket before expires, just to thwart Murphy’s Law.

Update: I actually wrote the above paragraph a while ago, but neglected to publish it. I only remembered it when I spotted a pile of old Powerball tickets among my husband’s things. I checked the 2021 tickets, and the one from VT was a winner (hooray!), though only for $4 and only redeemable in VT, of course. There were, as predicted, several expired tickets. My husband thinks I should look the numbers up, but I’m hesitant, because I don’t want to even think about how I’d feel if there were a big winner among the expired tickets. Lucky for me, the Powerball website is currently down, and since that’s the most reliable site, I can postpone looking the numbers up for now.

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Hurricane Update

Hurricane Henri was downgraded to a tropical storm before making landfall near Westerly, RI, just after noon. Here, we had some heavy rain this morning, now reduced to a drizzle. Our driveway is strewn with leaves and twigs, and the power occasionally flickers, but that’s the extent of the damage so far. We are neither in the path of the highest winds nor the hardest rains, so with any luck we’ll get through the remainder of the storm without much ado. That sure would be nice. Fingers crossed.

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Reading Report: Late August 2021

I finished four books since my last reading report.

The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware, Grade: A+: Laura “Lo” Blacklock is a travel writer who goes on a luxury cruise so that she can write a piece about it for the magazine that she works for. Just before she embarks, someone breaks into her flat while she’s still there. The experience leaves her scared and exhausted. She takes meds for anxiety and drinks too much, and now she’s not getting much sleep either. When she witnesses what she believes to be a murder, the passengers and crew can’t help being skeptical. But strange things keep happening, subtle hints that someone on board is trying to cover their tracks, so even though she herself begins to doubt what she saw, she can’t let it go. The wi-fi isn’t working, leaving her cut off from the rest of the world, but we readers are given tantalizing bits of information conveyed through social media posts, e-mail, etc. Based on the reviews, this seems to be a love-it-or-hate-it story. Some readers can’t get past the main character’s flaws. I didn’t have that problem. I felt like I was right there in the story with her, confused and on edge, trying to figure things out. It was gripping. I am looking forward to reading more of Ware’s work, and I have a copy of In a Dark, Dark Wood standing by for when the right mood strikes.

Witch World by Andre Norton, Grade: B+: Ex-soldier Simon Tregarth is being hunted down by professional assassins, and he knows he’s about to die, until a mysterious person offers him a way out: a portal that will take him to a world that is a perfect fit for him. Whisked away by this magic, he ends up in the land of Estcarp, a matriarchal society of witches. Estcarp is just one of several distinct lands in this new world. Most of them seem primitive by comparison to what he knew on Earth, though there are surprising hints of technology that Tregarth can’t account for. And then there are the Kolder, a race so technologically advanced that he thinks they may be aliens. The Kolder are trying to take over the world. Estcarp’s magic and Tregarth’s military skills are the only things standing in their way. I thought that this was an interesting way to blend the genres of fantasy and sci-fi, but I didn’t particularly like the story.

The Curse of the Pharaohs by Elizabeth Peters, Grade: C+: The Curse of the Pharaohs is the second book to feature archeologist/sleuth Amelia Peabody. Though I disliked the first book, I decided to give the series a second chance, and I have to say that the early part of it was promising. Amelia Peabody in a domestic setting–as a mom, wife, and neighbor–is funny and extremely relatable. Then she and her husband leave the kid with family and take themselves off to Egypt to direct an archeological dig that is very Tut-like, complete with a curse. There they both suddenly become nearly insufferable. He’s always blustering and telling her what to do. She’s always ignoring him, getting herself in trouble, and smugly congratulating herself on every little thing. I mentioned their insufferability to my mom, and she told me that that was what she liked about the series. Go figure. I guess there’s a book for every reader and a reader for every book.

The Plentiful Darkness by Heather Kassner, Grade: A-: I pre-ordered The Plentiful Darkness on a whim, because it sounded interesting, and then I promptly forgot about it. So, one day it arrived, as if out of the blue and, because it was short, I read it right away. The setting is a world in which people use magical mirrors to capture moonlight as a power source. The main characters are a girl, who has lost her parents and is struggling to survive on her own, and a sorceress who imprisons children in a place called the Plentiful Darkness. It was a dark story, but hopeful, just the right tone for times like these.

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