Dear Kids,
One day Marshall came home from school and announced, “Mom, one of the kids on the bus told me that ghosts are real. He knows because he saw one!” The last thing I needed was for Marshall to start fearing ghosts, so I told him that I don’t believe in them. I’ve been alive for a lot longer than that kid, and I’ve never seen one. But of course, Marshall ignored me, because that kid had SEEN a ghost. That made him an expert in Marshall’s eyes.
I knew I was fighting a losing battle. This new belief in ghosts, because it was exciting in a scary sort of way, was going to be hard to dislodge from his head. Talking about it more was only going to make it worse. I decided to let the matter drop and hope that it went away.
But it didn’t. He shared the story with Livia, and the next thing I knew, it was bedtime, and Livia was telling me that ghosts are real and you’ll die if they bite you. Great. Try explaining to two excitable kids at bedtime, when it’s dark outside and the lights are about to go out, that ghosts aren’t real. No way that’s going to work.
So I switched tactics. I called downstairs to your dad, “Hey, honey. Do we still have that ghost banisher?”
“Yes!” he called back. “I’ll go get it!”
It took him a while to find the ghost banisher. By the time he got upstairs with it, Marshall had started calling it a “ghost vanisher,” which was even better. The ghost vanisher turned out to be a sheet of foil held aloft with the grabby tool (I’m not sure what the actual name for that is. It’s that long tool that has a handle on one end which you squeeze to close the pincers at the other end).
He waved the ghost vanisher all round the bedroom and the adjoining bathroom. As he worked, you asked, “Is that a real thing, Mommy?” This was an application of foil that you’d never seen before, and you were skeptical. I said, “It’s not tin foil. It’s anti-ghost foil. Different stuff, and way more expensive.” Still not quite believing, you asked, “Will it really work?” “Yes,” I assured you. “If there are ghosts, this will get rid of them.”
Your dad completed his task, but you still weren’t satisfied. He had forgotten to treat the area near the windows. So, wonderful dad that he is, he came back and ghost-vanished the windows. You wanted him to come back yet again to treat the area under your beds, but I explained that we only had to do the entry points (doors and windows), so you were all set. And amazingly, we heard no more worries about ghosts that night. You went to sleep pretty quickly.
The next day, I asked Marshall if he had seen any ghosts the previous night. He had not. I said that the ghost vanisher must have worked. He agreed, but he felt that more applications might be necessary come nighttime. “No,” I said. “Anti-ghost foil is strong stuff. It will last a couple of months.” So Marshall reminded your dad that he would need to reapply the ghost vanisher in two months exactly. Your dad agreed, and that was that. We’ve heard no ghost talk since.
The moral of this story is that sometimes people need something comforting to believe in. Your dad and I gave you that. And while it may not have been the “real thing” that you wanted it to be, please keep it. Someday, if you have kids of your own, you might need the ghost vanisher again.
Love,
Mom