I’ve been trying to get off the mailing list of a particular catalog company for a long time. I called them again just before I moved, hoping that I might spare the new resident the flood of paper-wasting catalogs. As for myself, I thought that I would be safe after I moved. I was wrong. Three catalogs arrived at my new address today. I can’t believe how quickly they tracked me down.
What does it take to be permanently removed from their list? Apparently, you have to be dead, or as they say in catalog lingo, nixie. Nancy, the customer service rep to whom I spoke, promised that I would be nixie to them from now on.
It’s a little unsettling to be dead, even in the mailing-list sense, and I hope that news of my untimely death doesn’t spread as far as, say, my credit report. I guess only time will tell if I’ll be given the rarest of rare opportunities—the chance to say with utter seriousness, “Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”
Today, nearly 3 months later, we received a Nature’s Jewelry catalog. All your attempts at mass circulation suicide failed.
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