Dear Kids,
You arrived in this world as blank slates, so you’ve had to learn everything. And we’ve had to teach it to you. And since you grew out of your baby phases and started walking and talking, we’ve had to say things to you that we never thought we’d say to other human beings. Here is a selection.
- Give me that booger!
- Stop banging your head on the wall!
- Get off your sandwich!
- Don’t lick the lid of the mayonnaise jar!
- Don’t touch the cat puke!
- Don’t eat your poop!
- Stop squashing your sister!
- Don’t drink the bath water!
- Don’t stick your head in the toilet!
And if you think any of that’s embarrassing, remind me someday to tell you the story of the morning we found you both bathing in the toilet.
Love,
Mom