Blue-Footed Musings

The last bunch of limericks I have to share is actually the first group that I wrote. The subject (the Mandela Effect) was also the most demanding and the most problematic. First, I wasn’t even sure that it quite fit the theme of the contest (events of the last 25 years). Second, in order for a limerick on the subject to make sense, you’d have to know what the Mandela Effect was, so ideally the limerick would directly reference it. But how do you squeeze the three necessary concepts (Mandela’s election, his supposed earlier death, and the phrase “Mandela Effect”) into five short lines? Limericks are simply not meant to hold so much information!

I tried, though, and it was not a bad thing to start out ambitiously. The effort got my brain working. Here are three of the variations that I came up with.

There’s a theory that Nelson Mandela
Really died in his old prison cell-a
Before his election.
A time-line correction?
Or simply a longer-lived fella?

In the year ’94 was elected
Ol’ Mandela, but now it’s suspected
That he died years before.
Some recall it. They’re sure.
So they say we’re Mandela-Effected.

Have you heard of the “Mandela Effect”?
Nelson died before being elect-
ed. The timeline has changed.
Please don’t call me deranged.
All the proof is on YouTube. I checked!

I could have spent my entire limerick-writing weekend on the Kavanaugh hearing. It was such a comedic goldmine but, because of that, I considered it to be a high-competition area, so I worked on just a couple of variations. The repetition of the word “beer” (made famous by SNL) was an obvious ploy, and some of my variations used phrases such as “besotted with beer,” etc. Here are the two variations I liked best.

As the Dems watched the Kavanaugh hearing,
They thought he was bitter and sneering.
But Republicans saw
Not a notable flaw
And to them he was sweet and endearing.

At the hearing of Brett Kavanaugh
All the Democrats looked on in awe
As he ranted (fermented?)
Like a person demented,
But Republicans saw not a flaw.

I did well in the contest, but now I’ve got a bunch of limericks kicking around. What should I do with them? I worked so hard on them, and even if they’re not winners (or even very good), they’re all special to me. It would make me sad to leave them in my drafts folder forever. So I’ve decided to publish some of them here.

Fukushima was one of the subjects I chose. I wrote three variations, but the third had a terminally clunky line, which took it out of consideration. Here are the other two.

In Japan they had no way of knowing
Fukushima would be overflowing
From a wave that hit town
And then caused a meltdown
On the bright side our seafood is glowing.

The Japanese could not conceal
Fukushima’s big meltdown ordeal.
Now atomic pollutants
Might generate mutants
Godzilla could one day be real!