We Can’t Have That

The moment I sit down to work on my novel, I remember something IMPORTANT that I have to look up on the Internet. I cannot look it up later. I must do it now. Now! Because if I don’t, I might end up writing something, and we can’t have that, can we?

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The Art of Art

Dear Kids,

This year you both showed off your artistic talents. You made quite a bit of art for us. Some of it has been displayed. The rest is in piles and boxes. I hope to sort through it and find the best pieces for the photo album. For now, suffice it to say that you created many beautiful things.

Livia used to love coloring books, but at some point her focus turned from coloring them to creating them. She made several in imitation of Johanna Basford’s series of coloring books. Livia named her collections with words like “Lost” and “Secret.” Some of the detail work was quite stunning.

Marshall also made a coloring book and photocopied the pages so that we could color them. His work featured multi-headed creatures who can, like Godzilla, shoot killing rays out of their mouths. There were several different types of killing rays, and Marshall was happy to explain the differences to me. That’s one of the things I love about Marshall’s art. There’s always a story behind it.

The best thing, though, was that two art sales opened up in our living room. Livia’s was first. She made a sign that said, “Did you know at Livia’s art sale you can get surpizis and gifs? Well we are open for 3 hawers!” Livia’s art was expensive, and you had to be careful to ask for the price upfront. I learned to haggle with her. For example, she had some miniature paper snowmen that that she was originally selling for $1 each. I talked her down to four for a dollar, which worked out well for Grampa. He bought a batch while he was here for Christmas. For the record, I’m not saying that her art isn’t worth what she wants to charge for it. I’m just saying that her prices limit our ability to buy her work!

Not to be outdone, Marshall also made an art studio. Marshall’s sign said, “Marshall’s Art Sale. We’re open almost all day! And every picture is $1!! And free shipping!!! You can get anything Marshall can draw! So come on down to Marshall’s art sale!!!!!”

I made many purchases from both art sales. It was money well spent. I was 100% satisfied with all of my purchases. You are my favorite artists!

Love,

Mom

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A Haunting in Cornwall

Wait for What Will Come by Barbara Michaels

Grade: B

In Wait for What Will Come, American Carla Tregellas finds out that she has inherited an ancient mansion in Cornwall. There’s not much money for keeping the place up but, being young and carefree, she decides to travel to Cornwall and live in the house until the money runs out. Once there, she meets several love interests. She also learns about the folk stories of the area, including that there’s a sea demon who abducts a woman from her family every 200 years on Midsummer’s Day. (Can you guess how many years it’s been since the last abduction?) Meanwhile, she hears and sees strange things around the house, and she nearly dies in what was obviously a staged accident. Can she find out what’s really going on before the demon comes to drag her down into the deep?

This book had its own special atmosphere, and it was a nice change. For me, an ancient, stony mansion on the seashore of Cornwall is a more interesting setting than, say, an old house in Virginia. I also liked the idea of the sea demon who abducts a young woman every 200 years.

But the book suffered from some of the common flaws of the romance novel. How can you believe that the heroine is a smart, modern woman who can take care of herself if she’s always behaving stupidly and irrationally and getting herself into desperate need of rescue? Also, though I understand why an author would want to try to keep the reader from guessing which guy would ultimately win the girl, making him the mean one is a terrible method for doing that. How can we be satisfied with the ending if we can’t even understand why the heroine would want such an oaf?

But there is a lot to be said for Michaels’ work. I always learn something from her books, which is part of my justification for reading them. From this book I learned a little bit about Cornish surnames. I no longer have the book handy, so I can’t quote from it, but Wikipedia gives a couple of versions of the rhyme that Michaels referenced, including this one:

By Tre, Ros, Pol, Lan, Caer and Pen / You may know the most Cornishmen.

The Wikipedia article explains the meanings of the names. I think it’s interesting. I hadn’t even realized that there is such a thing as the Cornish language.

Next up in the Barbara Michaels binge is Patriot’s Dream.

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Catless

For the first time in 20 years, we are catless. All the doors can be left open, because there are no cats trying to sneak into forbidden areas. Cardboard can be left out with no fear that it will be scratched to shreds. Piles of clothing can be left out with no fear that they’ll get covered with fur. The leather couch doesn’t need protection. I don’t have to refill the water bowl or wash the cats’ food dishes or scoop the litter box.

Life is easier now, and sadder.

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All the Rooms Are Quiet Now

From the day we brought him home with us, Mojo’s snuffly breathing always gave him away. He couldn’t hide from us. We could always hear him even if we couldn’t see him. All we had to do was listen.

Until now. We cannot hear him anymore. All the the rooms are quiet now.

R.I.P. Mojo

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Another Haunted House

Here I Stay by Barbara Michaels

Grade: C+

A thirty-something woman named Andrea is in a bad financial situation after her teenage brother Jim (whom she has raised) has a terrible, life-altering car crash. What a fortuitous time to inherit an old house in Maryland. She decides to turn it into a bed-and-breakfast. The house is . . . (you guessed it!) haunted, and there will be dire consequences for her, her brother, and the friends they have made in their new hometown.

Here I Stay was almost good. The characters were generally likeable (though Andrea fretted far too much over her brother). There was a mysterious cat named Satan, who looked exactly like the former cat of the house, Beelzebub. I love mysterious cats! The problem was simply that so little happened during most of the book that I was yawning by the time something finally did happen. I also didn’t like the ending.

Favorite quote from the book:

I’m interested in practically everything. That’s why I’m always behind schedule. (spoken by Martin, a long-term boarder at the bed-and-breakfast)

Next up in my binge is Wait for What Will Come.

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The Old Man in the Woods

This is the underside of a tree that has fallen across a path in the woods. Though it is the crotch of a tree, from this angle it looks almost like the crotch of a tall man with a terrible skin ailment. Poor guy!

Oh, dear. He’s got several different kinds of skin ailments! I wish the color were just a little truer, though, because the tan fungus was actually pink.

I suppose if one must have a skin infection, it should at least be a pretty one.

I’m no doctor, but what seems to be happening here is that some of the fungus has reoriented itself to grow horizontally.

Last, but not least, on the old man’s back: fungus “flowers” blossoming in the snow.

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More Bingeing

Witch by Barbara Michaels

Grade: B+

A middle-aged woman’s children have grown up and left the nest, so she goes looking for her dream house, and finds one in nowheresville Virginia. Sure enough, that house is haunted. But it’s not the dead that she needs to worry about. The living are far more dangerous.

Witch is not as dated as Ammie, Come Home. Some things about it still feel relevant. The main character finds herself at odds with some of her neighbors, who follow a rather nasty version of Christianity. She’s shocked by how conservative, bigoted, and sexist their beliefs are. She doesn’t realize how bad it is until she visits their church one Sunday. The hate-filled sermon is too much for her.

[She] had no desire to offend anyone, but she would not condone such trash by sitting still and listening to it. Quietly she rose and walked out of the church. . . . Oddly shaken, she sat in the car for a few minutes to recover her composure. She was disturbed, not so much by the encounter with a mind both violent and irrational, but by the realization that her safe, sane world was only one of many worlds. She had labored under the absurd but widespread delusion that the attitudes of her circle were those of the majority of humanity. For years she had lived in a world of superficial tolerance and good breeding. It had its faults; hypocrisy was one, certainly, and another was a kind of cynical indifference to the absolutes of both good and evil. But it was a stable world in its mediocrity and its studied pretenses. It was predictable. Surely she had been naive, though, to think of it as the normal world. In the strange universe she had glimpsed today, anything was possible.

I’ve had to come to a similar realization lately. There is a whole other world out there where people think differently than I do. It’s not a pleasant realization, and it comes with an equally unpleasant sense of powerlessnes. But it makes me feel a little better to read about someone experiencing the same thing. Though I gave the same grade to Witch as I’ve been giving to most of the books in this binge, it is my favorite so far.

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I, Driver

I saw some car-related questions in an “Interesting Facts About Me” quiz that was making the rounds on Facebook, and I thought I’d answer them here. I’m not sure these are particularly interesting facts about me. It’s just that cars are very much on my mind these days.

  1. Can you parallel park? In a pinch. I learned how to in preparation for my driver’s test. Though I ultimately didn’t have to show off my skill for the test, I have used it several times since. I’m fairly good at it. I’d just rather avoid it.
  2. Can you drive stick? Sort of. While I was in college, my friend drove to Boston to pick me up so that we could hang out for the weekend. She was too tired to drive us back to Connecticut, and she insisted that I drive. I wasn’t too keen on the idea. Her truck had a manual transmission, and I’d only ever driven automatics. She reasoned that since most of the trip would take place on the highway, all I would have to do was get the truck up to highway speed, and then it would be smooth sailing. It was terrifying to be cruising down the entrance ramp of the highway and not knowing if I’d be able to get the truck into gear. I did it, though. So if all you need me to do is get up to highway speed, then sure, I can drive stick.
  3. What is your dream car? One that works! My car is broken, and I’m going stir-crazy! Any working car (with an automatic transmission) would seem pretty good to me right now.
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Reading Binge

I’m on a Barbara Michaels binge. As I joked with my husband, one could get the impression that Barbara Michaels’s stories are all the same. First, a woman moves into an old house, typically in the D.C. area. The house is haunted by one or more ghosts. There is probably a moldy, nasty basement with a blocked-off section, but if not, then an attic with a hidden nook. There is likely to be a mysterious cat. Don’t be surprised if a seance takes place. Somebody will probably find and use old clothing or linens, and somebody will do some research. There’s usually some sort of digging involved, and references to archaeology. Oh, and of course, people fall in love.

That formula holds true for many of her novels (though not all). It makes sense given that she was a cat person and had a degree in Egyptology. Her style was intentionally Gothic, and can you even have a Gothic romance without an old house? But though many of the books have shared elements, they each have their own tone and often seem more different than alike.

The first book of my binge was Shattered Silk, an old favorite of mine. I don’t need to review it here, having done so back in 2010. Shattered Silk is now considered to be the first book in the “Georgetown trilogy.” Having never read the first book of the trilogy, it made sense to move on to that one next.

Ammie, Come Home by Barbara Michaels, Grade: B+

In Ammie, Come Home, we first meet the characters Ruth (a 40-something widow who has recently inherited a house in the historic Georgetown neighborhood of D.C.), and Pat (a big, loud professor whose mother is a notable socialite), and Sara (Ruth’s niece, a student who has come to live with her aunt). There was also a love interest for Sara, though I’ve forgotten his name. Ruth’s house turns out to be haunted, and not in a good way. To give the book its due, parts of this story really creeped me out, but the atmosphere was claustrophobic and the action repetitive. The characters kept going back to the house over and over again, even though the evil presence kept showing up and harassing them. The characters and their dialogue are very much products of their time, and they seem dated now. I’m glad to have read this book, but I doubt I’ll ever pick it up again. One last item of potential interest: this book was made into a TV movie called The House That Would Not Die starring Barbara Stanwyck.

After Ammie, Come Home, I moved onto Witch, the review of which will be posted soon.

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