SITY: Things Gotta Grow

Back in June I found some attractive plants growing in the yard. They had beautiful swirls of fuzzy leaves. I wondered what they’d be when they grew up.

MF15

Now it is August and I know the answer. They are these:

Meh 2

Mullein

I am a big fan of wildflowers, but I just can’t seem to make myself like mullein. Its flowers are tolerable up-close, I guess.

Meh 3

But they’re arranged on a big, ugly stalk, and they don’t bloom all at once, leaving parts of it bare and dead looking. And at its worst, mullein grows and grows until it gets to unruly heights.

Meh 4 - Copy

This insect-ravaged mullein plant is probably as tall as I am.

If only the mullein would stay small like it was in June. But I suppose that’s always the way in this world. Things gotta grow.

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Cause and Effect

Marshall (carrying something covered in his hand): I have to throw this away.

Daddy: What’s in your hand?

Marshall: An ant, because he’s squished, because I squished him!

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Emergencies

Dear Kids,

If I had a dollar for every time one of you said “I hurt myself!” we’d have a nice, steady income with which to pay for your preschool. I’m only half kidding when I say that. It seems like you’re always getting yourselves into some kind of trouble.

From my 6/21/12 journal entry:

Livia dislocated her elbow today. This plus her black eye (from last Sunday at Auntie Natalie’s when she fell against the rock wall) and Marshall’s usual collection of bruises, scratches, bumps, bug bites, and assorted red spots of unknown origin probably make it look like we abuse the kids. There’s not much we can do tho, but continue to try to keep them out of harm’s way, however futile a task that may. I knew that rock wall was trouble and tried to keep her away, but she managed to get past me. However, she did not eat the poison berries, or touch the poison ivy, or escape into the woods, all of which she attempted over and over to do. Natalie’s yard is not nearly baby proofed! People never take fences seriously until they have toddlers.

My journal entry wasn’t 100% accurate. As the ER doctor in Penn Yan explained to us while we were on vacation in July, Livia’s elbow wasn’t actually dislocated. She had nursemaid’s elbow, which is a subluxation (i.e., partial dislocation). It’s not as serious as a complete dislocation.

But who needs to know that? Only the parents whose child is being treated for nursemaid’s elbow for the third time. Yes, third time! And it was actually her fifth visit for emergency care (there was the spangle-eating incident, plus three elbow-subluxation incidents, and one crushed-finger incident). You should have heard us blathering to the hospital staff about everything she had ever been treated for. I guess we figured that if we told them everything they wouldn’t think we had anything to hide.

We don’t have anything to hide (well, except some household clutter), but I hope you’ll take it easy for a while, put some time between injuries for appearance’s sake. And for our sanity’s sake. You have no idea how terrible it is to see your child hurt. It is not one of the highlights of parenthood.

You are inquisitive, adventurous, energetic, determined, and single-minded—all traits that could be useful someday. But those same traits are the ones most likely to get you into trouble now.

Be safe, my little ones. No more trips to the ER, OK?

Love,

Mom

P.S. I started writing this post in July or August. It is December now. You have each required emergency care once since then. Livia got a tick bite and Marshall had an extremely high fever, both distressing events. But henceforth you’re going to take it easy on us, right?

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Nature’s Persistence

I am often impressed by Nature’s persistence. Look at this tree growing out of a rock.

Persistence 1

Rock Tree

Persistence 2

Rock Tree Looks Like an Elephant’s Trunk

There’s a sad bush on the border of our yard that appears to be some kind of blueberry/huckleberry. It doesn’t get a lot of sun, which is probably why it’s so sad. I’ve never seen a single berry on it. But it keeps trying.

Persistence 3

Everyone knows how persistent dandelions can be in the yard. But did you know that if you leave them in a vase for weeks they don’t just die? The make seeds!

Persistence 4

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Writing for Money

A few months ago we received a notice from the IRS. They had decided to continue charging us interest and penalties over that little misunderstanding we had back in 2008. We still thought that we were right, and it was thousands of dollars that they were asking for, so we decided to continue to fight them. We immediately contacted our tax guy and asked him what to do. He called up the IRS and got permission for us to plead our case (yes, you actually need to get permission before you can send them a letter).

So who was going to write the letter? Naturally that task fell to me. But I was daunted. I’ve written fiction contest entries that could theoretically win us some cash. That’s not daunting, though. That’s exciting. It gives me a feeling of hope. I’d never had to write something that could lose us money if it wasn’t good enough!

I had no choice, though. No one was going to write it for me. So I began the easy way: “Dear IRS, . . . ” I told them what great people we were and why we didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. I included everything our tax guy said to include, plus a few persuasive (I hope) lines of my own. Our tax guy approved it (with a change of salutation, of course), and we mailed it.

We can do nothing more now but wait for the reply and hope for the best. In the meantime I’m glad to be done with that terrible writing task, and I look forward to doing more blog posts and stories and silly rhymes. Those are the kinds of things I like to write. They might not make me any money, but at least they won’t cost me anything if they’re bad!

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Our Little Crazy Secret

Recently there was a run of articles and blog posts about how talking to yourself can be a good thing. Here is one for your perusal.

I’m surprised that this is news for anyone. I often talk to myself as a concentration aid. I found out long ago that it is easier to keep a thought in my head if it is busy dancing on my tongue. So when I’m figuring out a particularly knotty problem, or when I’m running short on time and need to make use of every minute, I talk to myself about what I’m doing. It works wonders.

But there is a second reason why you might hear me talk to myself, and that one IS crazy. I talk to myself when an evil thought is nagging me. I do this because the thought that is given voice sometimes has the power to silence the thoughts that are trapped inside. Or perhaps it’s just louder. Either way, it usually works to some degree.

I am most often plagued by this kind of thing after talking to other people, or writing something public, because I mentally review it all in my head (not on purpose—it just happens). I always find things that I did or said that might have been wrong, and then I’m angry or feel like a fool, and I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I talk to myself to shut up those insidious thoughts. I’ve heard other people do the same thing (I know, because crazy recognizes crazy). So I at least I am not alone.

Now, if you hear me talking to myself, and you ask me why, I’m going to tell you that I’m concentrating, even if I’m not. If you’re not crazy, then maybe you’ll accept my explanation and think that I’m smart. And if you are crazy, then you’ll know exactly what I’m up to. And I’ll know you know, and you’ll know I know you know. And so forth. It’ll be our little crazy secret.

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How Nice

I had a good uncle . . . . His principal complaint about other human beings was that they seldom noticed it when they were happy. So when we were drinking lemonade under an apple tree in the summer, say, and talking lazily about this and that, almost buzzing like honeybees, [my uncle] would suddenly interrupt the agreeable blather to exclaim, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

So I do the same now, and so do my kids and grandkids. And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

–Kurt Vonnegut, from A Man Without a Country

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Some Don’t Like It Hot

I stopped at Silver Sands in Milford on my way home from CT on Wednesday. It was a long walk down the boardwalk to get from the parking lot to the beach. And it was hot.

The moon was out, and that was cool, if not cooling. Can you see it in the picture?

Boardwalk

I was wearing dark jeans, so I wasn’t just hot, I was HOT. And everyone was looking at me. Their expressions seemed to say, “Are you nuts?”

Beach Bird

Someone (not the bird) even told me I was nuts. At least I think he did. But he was an old guy with a thick foreign accent, so I’m not sure. For all I know he was saying that he wanted some of my dinner, which I was carrying in a bag. He said lots of things to me, most of which were unintelligible. But I’m almost certain he wanted me to splash in the water with him.

I didn’t.

I took more pictures, though, and everyone lined up to get in them.

Lineup

I noticed a little copse of birch trees. I think it must be concealing the den of some magical creature. Whatever the creature is, it is friendly with birds, but I feel certain it would not like me to visit, or you, or anyone like us. Because if it wanted us to visit, it wouldn’t have surrounded itself by marsh like this.

Birch Den

Then I spotted this bench and I thought it looked like a nice spot to eat.

Bench

But at that time it was almost completely surrounded by gulls. I didn’t want to have to fight them for my dinner. What can I say? Having been previously jumped by a duck over a sandwich, chased by a goose over a cigarette, and dive-bombed by a blue jay for getting too close to its babies, I’ve got issues with birds. Caution is the word.

So I sat instead on a broken part of the boardwalk down the beach, just a few feet from the water. I ate my food and watched people as they swam or jogged (ye gods!) or fished. There were birds everywhere, including little guys who zoomed over my head like tiny stealth jets. I listened to the waves and the distant hum of boats. I remembered other pleasant trips to the beach. The sun slammed down on me like a sledgehammer, but in a good way, if you know what I mean. In short, it was wonderful.

Then I had to walk back down the beach, and I was starting to develop blisters on my feet, because my shoes were as inappropriate for a beach walk as my jeans were. I drank the last of my water, and suddenly the world felt hotter than it ever had at any point in my life. And then I had to walk back down the boardwalk, which had somehow grown longer, to get back to my very hot car.

Did I mention that it was hot?

So the beach was lovely, as always, but the heat was not, not, not!

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Who Do I Write Like?

I found a link to a website that claims to analyze text and tell you which author you write like. Usually I’m really paranoid and don’t do that kind of thing. But I was bored, so I tried it. I ran three selections through it: one from my blog, one from an unfinished children’s story, and one from an unfinished novel.

When I write for my blog, I write like . . .

Margaret Atwood

When I write children’s stories, I write like . . .

Cory Doctorow

When I write novels, I write like . . .

Stephen King

What does this mean, if anything? I’m not sure. I like Margaret Atwood, usually (The Handmaiden’s Tale was awesome, but I couldn’t get into Surfacing or The Robber Bride). I’ve never read any Cory Doctorow (is that an oversight?). I don’t mind being compared to Stephen King. Here’s what I wrote that produced that result:

Charlie’s grandmother always used to say, “No amount of sorry is going to fill that hole.” Those were the words he wanted to throw at the people in their fine black clothes as they lined up to tell him how sorry they were for his loss. Not that it was their fault, but sometimes sorry sounds as hollow as your stomach after the flu. He didn’t tell them that. He stood up straight, trying to look like the young gentleman his grandmother always exhorted him to be, and said thank you nicely.

“Charlie, it’s time to go to the cemetery. Are you ready, son?” asked Father Glen

The boy nodded. He was tired. The stream of unfamiliar faces, the pinch of his new shoes, and the air so stale it hurt to breathe—they had all taken their toll, and now he was about to lay to rest the only family he had ever known.  He just wanted it over. There was a dark void on the other side of the funeral service, an uncertain future. It numbed him. Not knowing felt so much safer than the certainty of death.

Hmmm. Loss, cemetery, dark void, funeral, death. Yeah, it does sound a little like Stephen King!

Of course, then I looked up the site and found a Wikipedia article for it. It would seem that everyone writes like Margaret Atwood or Stephen King! Well, aren’t we all awesome! Now if only we were as successful…

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Grow Your Soul, Vonnegut Style

Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

–Kurt Vonnegut, from A Man Without a Country

I don’t sing in the shower, but I dance to the radio, and I tell stories, and sometimes I write lousy poems. I feel like my soul is still a tiny sapling. I hope it will grow.

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