Today’s Neologism

This morning’s blog bounty: 14 spam comments! Almost every comment had the “requisite” typo. Here is my favorite.

Keep these articles coming as they’ve onpeed many new doors for me.

Onpee might make a decent word. It would be distinguished from the phrase pee on by an additional layer of meaning. It would refer not to the literal sense (to urinate) but rather the figurative sense. I once heard Judge Judy say, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” And that’s what onpee would mean: to openly do something childish, disgusting, or vulgar and then tell a boldfaced lie about it.

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Tired

You know you’re tired when you try to put the tea kettle in the microwave.

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Everyone Gotta Sleep

Even famous fictional detectives can’t keep their eyes open all the time. In Death in the Air, Poirot lamented,

It happened under my very nose. It is an insult, that, you agree? Hercule Poirot, to sleep while murder is committed!

At least he got to sleep. The way I look at it, there will always be work to do upon waking. That doesn’t make sleep a bad thing. Sleep is great!

I miss sleep.

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Uh-Oh

You can’t help but be concerned for the future education of your children when you look at the school newsletter and you see this headline.

BACK IN GOOD STANDING: HIGH SCHOOL REGAINS ACCREDITATION

Regains? You mean it lost its accreditation?

That’s just peachy.

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Thanks

I was working in my office yesterday when my husband brought Marshall in to play for a while. I was concentrating on my work and so I didn’t pay much attention to what either of them was doing. Occasionally Marshall would grab a candle or a picture or something else that he wasn’t supposed to have. Eventually this wore down his dad’s patience, so they left. As my husband carried the boy out of the room, he said, “Sorry about the mess.”

“Mess? What mess?” I thought to myself, but I was too busy with work to worry about it. When I finally got up and walked around the desk, this is what I saw.

Thanks, Hon.

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Little Miss Smiley

Dear Livia,

Your grandmother once called you Little Miss Smiley. That name fits you so well.  If you’re not careful, Smiley will become your permanent nickname, because you smile for almost anything. Here’s an example.

We often put you on the floor in the dining room, which we have gated off from the rest of the house. You crawl around, looking for things to amuse yourself. To the casual observer, you’re intent on what your doing, but watching you carefully, I notice that you often look up to see if anyone is paying attention to you.  If you look up too many times and find that you don’t have an audience, that’s when you start to cry. If you look up and see me watching you, you beam at me, as if to say, “Hi, Mommy! Aren’t I clever/beautiful/wonderful?”

You are, Sweetie!

Love,

Mom

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Language Arts

Dear Marshall,

Few things in my life have been as interesting or as enjoyable as helping you learn how to speak. I wish we could record it all with a video camera, so that I could create a movie with all the best parts. But while the end result would be nice, years of having a camera in our faces probably wouldn’t be so pleasant. We will just have to make do with the written word.

  • You love saying “bye-bye.” You’ll say it to anything and everything—ants, doors, cats—you name it. And you like to say it over and over again. The other day, as we were walking up the stairs and away from your father, you must have said “Bye-bye, Dada” at least ten times! We also have a “Hello, Bye-Bye” game in which your father or I says hello to something and then you say bye-bye to it. I can almost see the little wheels of your brain turning as you work to hold onto the name of the thing while placing the word “bye-bye” before it.
  • Your Martian vocabulary has gotten quite large. Here are some of the words you use regularly.
    beam = bean
    cown = clown
    deet = cheese
    Doodledee = Woody (Toy Story character)
    duce = juice
    en-dee-oo (formerly, nee-oo) = cereal
    geek = pink
    Goway = Corduroy (a book)
    gway = gray
    Hobby = Bunnies and Their Hobbies (a book)
    izh = shoes
    la boolah = bread
    moom = moon, moose
    nondeet = mac ‘n’ cheese
    oogy = yogurt
    peeple = purple
    rah = red
    spoom = spoon
    toowah = two
    tzah = sock
  • You have also added new words to your English vocabulary. Among them are bear, beer, car, hair, hammer, pool, tail, and wipes. I love the way you say them. You pronounce each word so deliberately. For example, it’s not just a “hammer.” It’s a “hhhammerrr.” I think you say it that way both because you want to pronounce it correctly and because you understand that words are powerful, maybe even magical.
  • You have learned to say “cracker” correctly (instead of “crackoo”). I guess all of your fun Martian words will eventually morph into English. That will be a sad day, however victorious.
  • Your father bought a DVD with scenes from an aquarium. You watched part of it and when you saw a clownfish you said, “Cracker!” It amazes me that you noticed the fishy shape of your Goldfish crackers and extrapolated that other similarly-shaped things must also be crackers. I kept telling you that it was a fish, but you didn’t believe me. You just kept saying, “Cracker!”
  • You recently made an enormous break-through in reading. We were reading your Potty book the other day when you pointed to the word “I” and said, “I.”
  • When you want to watch Toy Story, you say “Hamm” or “Doodledee,” both names of characters. When you want to watch The Backyardigans, you say, “Arr!” (because the first episode is about pirates).

You are a language artist, Sweetie. Keep painting these beautiful memories for me.

Love,

Mom

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Reading Time

Just as one sends a letter from place to place, one may send, to one’s self or others, letters through time. Photographs, mementos and journal entries are letters we send into the future; and by writing or speaking about events gone by we can communicate to some extent with the past. To do this regularly and intelligently is to expand our being in time.

from Time and the Art of Living by Robert Grudin

I become increasingly concerned with my usage of time as I grow older, because I realize that, while each day still arrives with a full complement of minutes and hours, I have fewer days to which to look forward. It is hard to contemplate such things, but I’m glad to think of them now, rather than twenty years from now, when I have twenty years less time to enjoy. I very much want to enjoy my time, to make something of it, and to reach the end of my life knowing that I used it well.

It is not such an easy thing to do. People talk the good talk—“Carpe diem!” “There’s no time like the present!” “Life it too short to…”—but hardly anyone seems able to maintain a focused awareness of time passing. A proper awareness of Time is, I think, part of living a full, happy life.

One day I came across an interesting quote about Time and it led me to its source, a book called Time and the Art of Living by Robert Grudin. I borrowed a copy of the book from the library, but failed to finish it before it was due back. I then acquired a copy of my own, but again failed to read it. I have owned it now for years but have yet to read more than a fraction of it. It is ironic that I can’t seem to make time for this book about Time.

As I type this post, Livia is sitting in my lap. Just a moment ago, she grabbed the book (which is next to the computer) with both hands and stuck it in her mouth to chew on it. That is a lovely metaphor, isn’t it? This baby with, I presume, absolutely no awareness of Time, simply does what she wants most to do in life, which is to devour all that lies before her. She doesn’t wait. She doesn’t ponder. She doesn’t plan. She just grabs and chews.

A few days ago, I picked up Time and the Art of Living and tried again to read it. I still find much of it difficult to read. Parts are written in a scholarly style that is, to me, superficially opaque. It requires effort just to get the meaning of the words and even more to understand them. Perhaps some of it is simply over my head. But there are parts that are simple, clear, immediately beautiful (like the quote at the beginning of this post), and that is what keeps me returning to the book. Those parts make it worth the effort to read and understand the whole of it.

I think I approached the book poorly in the past. It is not a book to be read in one sitting. The author probably never intended it to be. He wrote, “I have written . . . a kind of moving picture, a series of statements and reflections which readers may follow at their own pace. Rather than leading readers to preordained conclusions, I wish to make them stop and think. . . . The blank spaces between my writings are as important as the writings themselves.”

Now my approach will be to read one section at a time. Technically, I should put the book aside during August, which I have proclaimed Rainbow of Reading Month, but I’m going to make an exception for this book. I just really want to read it now. Wish me luck with it.

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Amazing Baby

Dear Livia,

You’re so beautiful. Your hair and eyes are brown. Does that sound plain? It’s not! You have big, pretty eyes surrounded by thick lashes. There’s a touch of red in your hair. We can’t be sure how red your hair will look when you get older, but I think the color is going to be magnificent.

You’re so curious, just like a cat. As soon as Marshall and I start to play a game or read a book on the floor, you’re there to watch and grab. If I block off any area of my office with pillows and boxes, you headbutt the pillows and boxes until you force a way through. I just plugged my computer in, and within seconds you had your hand on the plug. That’s dangerous, Sweetie! But it was new and you had to go for it. You can’t help yourself.

You’re so strong. By Marshall’s 2nd birthday party (July 2), you could crawl. Then a few days later, I looked down and you were sitting up straight, all by yourself. Just a few days after that, you were pulling yourself into a standing position. That’s right! You’re not even 7 months old yet and you’re already standing!

Livia The Beautiful, The Curious, The Strong.

You are amazing and I love you so much!

Mom

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Pest Control

A conversation from a few weeks ago—

Me: I found three millipedes in the house this morning. I couldn’t bear to kill them, so I threw them outside.

Hubby: Don’t do that!

Me: Why not?

Hubby: Because those ones already know how to get in, and they’ll tell the others!

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