Say Hello to the FAQ Page

I just created a FAQ page for this website. Check it out!

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Kinda Like Camping

I’ve been living without a fully functional kitchen for over 2 months. It’s kinda like camping, except without the campfire or the great outdoors (i.e. all the inconvenience, none of the fun). But as of today, I have a working kitchen sink. Running water! Hallelujah!

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Player Piano: Reading Leads to Bidding Frenzy

Isn’t it amazing how one thing leads to another?

I’m only about 50 pages into the 341-page Player Piano, but I’ve already gotten to the scene where the author introduces the player piano. The song that it plays is “Alexander’s Ragtime Band.” I don’t know the lyrics, but I figure they’re probably important, so I went online to look for them. While poking around the vintage sheet music section at E-bay, I found an interesting lot containing 100 pieces of popular sheet music from the early 1900s. It may or may not have contained “Alexander’s Ragtime Band,” but that’s irrelevant. We’re talking about some really cool old stuff here, and with the bid at just $19.99, how could I resist?

I entered my maximum bid of $25.00 and I was winning until just a few minutes before the end of the auction. Someone had the nerve to outbid me! So I bid again. And again. The adrenaline was really pumping and the next thing I knew, I had bid $35.00. But that still wasn’t enough to win. I was about to go one more when my sanity caught up with me, and instead I watched the seconds tick away. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I think I just missed out on one heck of a deal, but on the bright side, the seller made an extra $15.00. Good for them.

And in case you were wondering . . . Yes, I did buy a copy of “Alexander’s Ragtime Band.” It was only a few bucks and I thought it might be fun to learn it. In a few weeks, if I can figure out how to make all the gizmos work, I’ll post an audio file of me playing it.

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Career Advice

Magic 8 Ball, should I run away and join the circus?

“It is decidedly so.”

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A Sign

I pulled some change out of my pocket today and found something unusual—a coin from Bermuda. Is it a sign that I should go to Bermuda? I asked the Magic 8 Ball and it said, “Yes definitely.”

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Accepting the Inevitable

Yesterday I participated in a marathon—the 2nd annual “Lord of the Rings” marathon, that is. For just $12.50, I got to see all three movies on the big screen again. It was quite a bargain. And quite a challenge, taking nearly 12 hours to complete.

Some people don’t like to watch movies that they’ve already seen. Me, I have an almost never-ending supply of tolerance for certain films. I like the Ring Trilogy, so I’ve watched it many times. That meant no surprises during the marathon. I always knew exactly what was coming next.

One of the most powerful scenes in the first movie, “The Fellowship of the Ring,” is near the end, when Boromir tries to defend Merry and Pippin from the Uruk-hai. You watch as the biggest, nastiest orc approaches with a bow and arrow. You know what he’s going to do. Time slows down, but does not stop. Thock! The first arrow hits Boromir. It is the beginning of the end. Knowing that Boromir is going to die doesn’t mean that you don’t wish for him to live. But that cannot be. He must die. He must die every single time. That’s how the story goes. By the time the third arrow hits, you have to accept the inevitability of his death.

Real life is much the same. You don’t know when all the bad things are going to happen, but even if you did, you still couldn’t stop them all. Certain bad things will happen no matter what you do. It’s depressing.

The marathon continued. Eventually, the story turned more positive. And then it occurred to me: the happy events in the story also have to happen every single time. Gandalf came back to life. Gandalf will always come back to life. Sauron was defeated. Sauron will always be defeated. Good things are inevitable, too.

Good things are inevitable. I want to print that sentence out in giant letters and frame it.

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Player Piano: Associations

My local library did not have Player Piano, so I ordered a copy through the interlibrary loan system. It finally arrived today. Yay!

The phrase “player piano” reminds me of the real player piano that my grandparents had in their basement. It’s long gone now, sadly, but when I was very young, it was in good working order and they had a large selection of rolls. Whenever we visited, we got to listen to some amazing music. My personal favorite was “Moon River.”

I wonder if that tune will be stuck in my head as I read Player Piano.

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The End of an Age

My grandfather died on April 7. Kurt Vonnegut left us just a few days later, on April 11. They were both 84, both veterans of WWII, and both very important parts of the world as I knew it. They will be missed.

Over the next twelve months, I am going to attempt to read all of Vonnegut’s novels, the stinkers and the masterpieces alike. Perhaps by honoring Vonnegut’s work, I can symbolically honor my grandfather and all of the other wonderful people of his generation.

Vonnegut’s 14 Novels

Player Piano (1952)
The Sirens of Titan (1959)
Mother Night (1961)
Cat’s Cradle (1963)
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965)
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
Breakfast of Champions (1973)
Slapstick (1976)
Jailbird (1979)
Deadeye Dick (1982)
Galapagos (1985)
Bluebeard (1987)
Hocus Pocus (1990)
Timequake (1997)

I’m a little bit scared by this task I’ve set for myself. One Vonnegut is fun. Fourteen might make me loopy.

Want to put your sanity on the line and read along with me? First up is Player Piano.

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A Monstrous Limerick

There once was an ogre whose head
Was as big as a four-poster bed.
No store had a hat
That would fit atop that!
So he had to make do with a shed.

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Gone Without a Trace

A Rhode Island man has been missing since Thursday.

“The last time I spoke to him, he said he was going to take a shower and meet up with me for dinner,” says his fiancée. “When he didn’t make it on time, I wasn’t worried because, well, to be honest, he’s late all the time. It wasn’t until I got home that I started to worry, because he wasn’t there, but his car, phone, and wallet were. He wouldn’t go anywhere without his phone.”

Investigators on the scene say they found nothing unusual except in the bathroom, where they discovered large masses of hair on the shelf in the shower. One detective described them as being “kinda like tribbles, but extra hungry lookin’.”

Family members of the missing man made an impassioned plea to the public. “Please, if you have any information about his whereabouts, call the police immediately. He’s a part of our family and we need him. Who else can we get to fix our computers for free?”

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