Blue-Footed Musings

It still seems bizarre to me that there are two very different versions of The Hidden Staircase, both attributed to Carolyn Keene. Oh, I know there’s no Carolyn Keene and that both versions were written by ghostwriters (ghost—ha-ha!), but it’s still wrong for there to be two different books with the same title and same listed author. Anyway, I read both versions and here’s what I thought of them:

The Hidden Staircase by Carolyn Keene (1930 copyright)
Grade: A

Nancy visits an elderly woman whom she helped in The Secret of the Old Clock. The woman introduces Nancy to Rosemary Turnbull. Rosemary and her sister live in an old house they call The Mansion, which seems to have suddenly and inexplicably become haunted. Nancy takes a liking to Miss Turnbull and decides to go and stay at The Mansion for a while and investigate the supposed haunting.

This version has its scary moments. The Mansion has no electricity and no phone. Imagine being stuck in a large, unfamiliar house with no lights in the middle of the night while there’s a ghost around! The way Nancy solves this mystery still gives me the goosebumps. I wouldn’t call it high literature, but I think it’s great reading for girls. I concede there are parts of it that would probably be viewed as racist by modern audiences. Still, I would have left the book as it was. IMHO, if you’re old enough to read Nancy Drew, you’re old enough to start having discussions about American history, slavery, racism, and social inequality.

The Hidden Staircase by Carolyn Keene (2001 printing)
Grade: C+

Nancy’s friend, Helen, asks for help with a family mystery. Helen’s great-aunt and great-grandmother live in an old house called Twin Elms, which seems to have suddenly and inexplicably become haunted. Nancy and Helen decide to go and stay at the house for a while and investigate the supposed haunting.

In this version, Nancy is rarely alone and there are no moments of real terror (for her or for us). The way the mystery unfolds is simplistic and unbelievable. For example, the police chief calls Nancy to the station and begs her to question a couple of uncooperative suspects. He says, “You may not know it, but you’re a very persuasive young lady. I believe that you might be able to get information . . . where we have failed.” When Nancy talks to the suspects they immediately spill their guts. And then she runs into another bad guy in what ought to have been a scary place, but he just decides he was wrong for what he did and gives himself up! Really? I cannot claim 100% objectivity, since I love the original, but I can’t imagine how anyone thought this version was an improvement.

Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill
Grade: B-

Heart-Shaped Box is Joe Hill’s first novel. I loved the premise: an aging rocker buys a ghost at an auction website, and the ghost is delivered to his house in a black, heart-shaped box. Initially very creepy, the book degenerates into violence. I lost interest and started scanning for plot (so I’d know what happened to the characters without having to read every word). Unlike some reviewers, I don’t think nepotism had anything to do with this novel being published. The book is good enough to have merited publication, but I wish that Hill had spent more time on the second half, because it’s not nearly as good as the first. I wouldn’t recommend Heart-Shaped Box, but neither would I try to steer anyone away from it if they thought it sounded interesting.

Emergency Food Storage & Survival Handbook: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Your Family Safe in a Crisis by Peggy Layton
Grade: B+

With the number of storms we’ve had that either knocked out or threatened to knock out our power, I think it might be wise to set up a small cache of emergency food and supplies. I borrowed this book from the library for that reason. Layton gives an adequate explanation of basic prepping, but half of the book is made of empty charts for you to fill in (waste of paper, IMHO).

The Gammage Cup by Carol Kendall
Grade: A-

This is a likable fantasy novel about a race of people called the Minnipins. It teaches tolerance and appreciation for society’s nonconformists in an engaging, not-too-preachy way.

The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton
Grade: B+

The Secret Keeper is the story of a woman in search of the truth about a traumatic childhood event. It is sometimes interesting but often drags. The only thing that saves the story is that it does not turn out quite as expected.

Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
Grade: A-

Tuck Everlasting is a preachy, hard-to-believe, and overly long tale about the burden of immortality, but it is so beautifully written that you can forgive it all its flaws.

The Secret of the Old Clock (2001 printing) by Carolyn Keene
Grade: B+

The Secret of the Old Clock is the first Nancy Drew book. In this story, Nancy meets several people who thought they’d been named heirs in a man’s will, but after his death, the only will to surface is one that leaves everything to an already-wealthy man and his obnoxious family. Many suspect that a more recent will exists, but no one has any idea of where to start looking for it. Nancy likes her new friends and decides to go will-hunting on their behalves.

One thing that strikes me as odd is how often Nancy eats in this rewrite of the original story. She goes somewhere, she has a meal, she looks around and/or talks to some people, and then she goes somewhere else. To put it more succinctly, she eats, sleuths, and leaves. Here’s an example.

Nancy ate a dish of strawberries, then started on the waffles. “These are yummy,” she stated, pouring maple syrup over a second one.

She had just finished eating when the phone rang. . . .

Nancy  went upstairs for her purse, then drove to her father’s office. . . .

The amount of description that goes into some of these meals is odd. Do I need to know that she said the waffles were yummy, or that she had two? But even in this rewrite, there is something endearing about Nancy and her adventures are still exciting. Though I suspect the original is better, I enjoyed this version and gave it a B+ grade.

Horns by Joe Hill
Grade: A

Horns was a Kindle Daily Deal on a day when I was actively using my Kindle for the first time. I had recently read the Wikipedia article on Joe Hill, though I don’t recall exactly why. I was probably led there while doing some research on Stephen King (his dad). In any event, since I’m a fan of Stephen King, I was naturally curious about his son’s writing. I thought $1.99 might be a small price to pay in the name of curiosity and the exploration of the Kindle’s potential (my opinion of that device and the e-reading experience to come soon, I hope). I downloaded a sample of the book.

IGNATIUS MARTIN PERRISH SPENT the night drunk and doing terrible things. He woke the next morning with a headache, put his hands to his temples, and felt something unfamiliar, a pair of knobby protuberances. He was so ill—wet-eyed and weak—he didn’t think anything of it at first, was too hungover for thinking or worry.

But when he was swaying above the toilet, he glanced at himself in the mirror over the sink and saw he had grown horns while he slept. He lurched in surprise, and for the second time in twelve hours he pissed on his feet.

The bit about pissing on his feet, that cracked me up. After reading just this part of the sample, I went ahead and bought the book.

I have to say, though, that it’s not a funny story. It is, at least at the beginning, unrelentingly disheartening. As Ignatius soon learns, his horns come with certain demonic powers, one of which is that anyone looking at him feels compelled to confess their deepest, darkest secrets, including their real thoughts about Ignatius himself. One by one, the people in Ignatius’s life—his current girlfriend, his priest, the police, his family members—tell him what they really think of him. And with each person he encounters, you think, “Please, let this one be kind!” But most of them believe he raped and killed his former girlfriend, who was found dead in the woods a year ago, and they haven’t forgiven him for the crime or for getting away with it. With his life in shambles and no one to turn to, the only thing left for him to do is to explore his new powers and maybe find out the truth about what happened to her.

Hill has the same talent as his father for honest storytelling and really getting into people’s heads. Horns was engrossing. It was not a happy story, but it had what I would call a happy ending, all the more precious for the horrors that came before. I recommend it to those who can stomach violence and vulgarity in their reading, and who don’t mind a rather dark view of organized religion.

I found my folder of story ideas as I was cleaning my office last week. I was shocked by the number of unfinished drafts in there, including several fairly well-written chapters of a romance novel. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Continue reading →