Growing Older Every Day

I used to love birthdays. I remember eagerly anticipating each one. As soon as I was a few months past one birthday, I’d start upping my age toward the next. For example, a few months after turning 12, I would have given my age as “12 and a half” or “almost 13.”

Back then, birthdays meant parties and gifts, not to mention new freedoms. Thirteen made you a teenager. Sixteen made you a driver. Eighteen made you a voter. And twenty-one made you a legal drinker. But after twenty-one, the birthdays only brought age. Sure, there were other milestones to reach, but they weren’t guaranteed. In fact, the chances of achieving some of them would only decrease with each additional birthday.

Then came my first difficult birthday: 27. I decided that I didn’t like my life’s direction, so I broke up with my then boyfriend, found a new boyfriend, and quit smoking. That seemed to make me feel better for a while. While I can’t say I enjoyed the subsequent birthdays, no one of them seemed too bad.

That is, until 40. Forty was my worst birthday to date. I had been able, to an extent, to ignore certain physical changes that come with age (wrinkles, gray hair, memory problems, etc.). Hitting 40 brought it all home. I felt old. I could not ignore that I was on the downhill, that I probably had less time left to live than what I had already lived, that if I hoped to do anything to distinguish myself from the masses, I had better do it soon. The number of tomorrows was not infinite. It was diminishing. Procrastination was not just a bad habit; it was a murderer of dreams.

Hence my forays into the writing market. Honestly, writing is not the big dream for me that it once was. And it hurts to be forty and starting out as a beginner at something. I hate being inept. I know how long it can take to master an art, and I doubt I have enough time and energy to properly invest in it.

Yet it is better to chase an old dream than to do nothing at all. It is better to be inept than to be inactive. It is better to be alive than not, so I guess I’d better just accept my age and adopt a new motto: grow old or die trying! And while I’m growing older every day, there are worse things I could do than to take my ever-expanding lifetime’s worth of experiences and try to turn them into stories.

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Difficult

Dear Livia,

You are very particular about everything. It makes life difficult sometimes. For example, you hold us all up every morning as you decide which shirt and pants to wear. That is, if you’ll even wear them. It’s amazing how often you run around this house wearing only your diaper and onesie. How you can stand to wear so little, with the temperature in the low 60’s, I do not know. But while you may be difficult about choosing clothes, you take pleasure in being dressed up prettily. And for the record, you have rocked almost every outfit you’ve ever worn.

Believe it or not, you even debate over which diaper to wear. You’ll point to one diaper and say, “Dat nun!” But if we take that one and start unfolding it, you’ll point at another and say, “No! Dat nun!” You’ll go back and forth several times. If we try to put on the “wrong” one, you’ll throw a fit. Your comfort is also very important. You insist on having your pillow under your head while your diaper is changed.

Of course, you shouldn’t be in diapers anymore. You should be potty-trained, and you’re close. Really close. But there are so many unwritten, constantly-changing rules and rituals that you insist on. Every trip to the potty is difficult and time-consuming. I haven’t been pushing you (I tried that before and it didn’t work). That said, I’ll still be surprised if you’re not fully potty-trained soon. You’ve been pushing me! Plus, you’re so adamant about doing everything yourself, it’s bound to work in our favor eventually. Your favorite phrase is “My do!” (“Let me do it!”).

You like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You separate the slices of bread and lick off the jelly first. If you’re still hungry, you might eat the bread and peanut butter. Or maybe not, because you’re picky, and you’re willing to skip entire meals and hold out for something better. Meanwhile, after eating your sandwich, your face will be covered with jelly and/or peanut butter, but you don’t like to have your face cleaned. We practically have to pin you down just so we can take a couple of swipes at it.

Yup, you’re difficult. It’s normal for a two-year-old, so it’s probably just a phase. But just in case you decide to carry on this way for the rest of your life, let me share one of my favorite sayings with you.

Why be merely difficult when with a little more effort you could be totally impossible?

You’re not even close to impossible. Yet. So there’s still work to be done. Keep it up and maybe someday you’ll be as difficult as your mother.

Love,
Mom

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Writing With Purpose

Nothing is better at killing the desire to write than deciding to write with purpose.

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Book and Discussion

The Beauty of Humanity Movement by Camilla Gibb
Grade: B+

The Beauty of Humanity Movement is the 2013 Reading Across Rhode Island choice, which is probably why it was picked for this month’s book discussion at my local library. I had been meaning to join a book discussion, and this book sounded decent, so I decided to give the whole thing a go.

The Beauty of Humanity Movement is set in present-day Vietnam. An indigent pho seller, Hu’ng, and his adopted family dig into the past as they attempt to help Maggie, an expatriate, find out what happened to her father, whom she last saw during the fall of Saigon.

In grading the book, I hesitated between a B+ and an A-. It was, perhaps, the difference between considering the main character to be the pho seller or to be the pho itself.  I give Hu’ng a B+ and the pho an A-. It’s not that the story was bad, or the writing. It’s just that it somehow never really touched me. I felt sad about the bad things that happened to the characters, but not sad on their behalves, just sad because those kinds of things happen in this world. Mostly I just wanted to eat some pho.

As for the book discussion, well, that was sort of odd. The book group is composed of seven or eight women. They are, by their own account, a tight-knit group and they rarely get newcomers. They neither welcomed me with open arms nor tried to shut me out. It was slightly awkward but not awful. The next meeting will be about The Thirteenth Tale, which I wouldn’t mind rereading, so maybe I’ll go. We’ll see.

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Sweet Read

Heidi by Johanna Spyri (translated by Eileen Hall)
Grade: A-

Heidi is a wonderful story about a young girl who lives in the mountains with her grandfather and who brings cheer into the hearts of everyone she meets. It’s one of those saccharine stories, like Pollyanna, that ought to nauseate and somehow hits the spot instead.

One small problem with Heidi is that it’s a translation (German to English). With translations you never know if you’re going to get a good one or a bad one. The version I read was translated by Eileen Hall. It was enjoyable, but I wonder how other translations compare. Maybe there’s a better one?

A second small problem is that, if you are not a Christian, the emphasis on religion could be off-putting. It doesn’t bother me to read about characters with religious beliefs, but I do start to get irritated when a book gets preachy. Heidi teetered on the edge, getting close to preachy at times, but never becoming intolerable. Anyway, religion is par for the course in classic children’s literature. That’s just the way it is (or was).

All things considered, Heidi is a sweet read and I recommend it. If I am able to find more information about other English translations, I’ll append it to this post later.

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Newest Acquisitions

  • Children’s Treasury: Best-Loved Verse illustrated by Margaret Tarrant
  • The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly
  • Regarding the Fountain by Kate Klise
  • Boxen: The Imaginary World of the Young by C.S. Lewis
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Your Voice

It’s your voice. Cherish it. Respect it. Nurture it. Challenge it. Stretch it. Scream it until it’s fucking gone. Because everyone’s blessed with at least that, and who knows how long it will last.

–Dave Grohl, SXSW 2013 Keynote Speech

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Writing, Old-Style

I recently read an article that said there are four benefits to writing by hand.

  • Better writing
  • Improved learning
  • Less distraction
  • Nimbler brain

Thanks to carpal tunnel symptoms, I’ve been writing by hand more and more often. With four more reasons to do so, I might have to give up the computer as a writing tool altogether.

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The Truth About Fruit

Marshall says,

Monkeys eat bananas. Boys eat apples.

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Two Wonderful Books

I had the good fortune to read two wonderful books recently: Holes by Louis Sachar (which I had read once before) and Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick (which was new to me). The stories are completely different, but the books are similar in that they both involve a story of the past intersecting with one in the present. That is a hard thing to carry off, and both authors succeeded brilliantly.

Holes by Louis Sachar
Grade: A+

In Holes, teenager Stanley Yelnats, whose name is the same forwards as backwards, is convicted (wrongly) of a crime and sent to Camp Green Lake as a punishment. There’s no lake at Camp Green Lake. It’s dry, hot, and crawling with scorpions, rattlesnakes, and worst of all, yellow-spotted lizards. And at this terrible place, each “camper” must dig a hole, five feet high and five feet wide, every single day. In between scenes of Stanley learning to dig holes and getting to know the other people at the camp, we are told the stories of some of his ancestors. Their stories and Stanley’s eventually connect in an interesting way.

Holes is such a well-plotted book. Everything ties together, but it doesn’t feel forced. I also think it’s a very positive story. Other people complain about certain elements being unrealistic and others being overly violent. Obviously those people have never read fairy tales before! And that’s what Holes is, a modern fairy tale. I recommend it highly. However, since the main character is a teenager and there is violence, I’d classify the book as YA, just to be safe.

Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick
Grade: A+

In Wonderstruck, the main character, Ben, has just lost his mother, and he’s unhappy living with his aunt and uncle. When he discovers tantalizing clues about his father, whom he has never met, he runs away to New York City to look for him. Interspersed with the Ben’s narrative (told in text) is the story of a deaf girl (told in pictures), and the book ends with the connection of the two story lines.

Wonderstruck is a big book. I’m not afraid of big books. Really, I’m not. But I have to admit that given how little time I have for reading, a long book is not likely to be my first choice. I’m glad I didn’t let the length scare me off. The story is actually short enough to read within a few hours. The pictures are what make it appear so long, and they don’t take a lot of time.

The pictures also make the book stand out. Parts of the story are depicted as scenes from a silent film. It’s not a style I’d want all books to follow, but it works beautifully in this particular case, because the story is about deaf people. As you watch the silent movie play, you get to feel just a tiny hint of what being deaf might be like.

I read some reviews in which people compared this book unfavorably with another Selznick work, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Having not read that book, perhaps I avoided some kind of prejudice toward Wonderstruck. All I can do is judge it on its own merits, and I think it’s great. It left me me feeling a bit wonderstruck myself. Many thanks to my friend, Sprite, for giving the book to me.

P.S. Because this book is so large, I recommend breaking it in before reading it. I didn’t, and that may be why the spine warped as I was reading. For those who don’t know how to break in a book, I found a nice explanation at Sophistimom.

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