Blue-Footed Musings

Portuguese Irregular Verbs (A Professor Dr von Igelfeld Entertainment) by Alexander McCall Smith
Grade: B+

Alexander McCall Smith is most famous for his mystery series, The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency. Portuguese Irregular Verbs is apparently quite different from the books of that series. It is not a mystery, but rather a collection of short stories about Dr von Igelfeld, German professor of philology, fool at large.

The book starts out strongly with a story about von Igelfeld and two of his colleagues. They decide to play a game of tennis though none of them has played before. Indeed, none of them is typically inclined to any kind of athleticism, but as von Igelfeld says,

That’s no reason not to play. . . . Tennis, like any activity, can be mastered if one knows the principles behind it. In that respect it must be like language. The understanding of simple rules produces an understanding of a language. What could be simpler?

So they locate an old rulebook and, having absorbed the rules, two play while the third keeps score. Unfortunately, neither player can mange a proper serve and, according to the rules, the match must continue until a lead of at least two games is established, which is never going to happen. Von Igelfeld says,

This is quite ridiculous. . . . A game must have a winner—everybody knows that—and yet this . . . this stupid book makes no provision for moderate players like ourselves.

They all agree to quit, and off they go to take a refreshing swim, even though none of them has ever tried swimming before….

If all of the stories were this funny, I would have given Portuguese Irregular Verbs an A+ and a glowing review. However, the stories seem almost to be arranged by quality, from best to worst. By the time I reached the end of the book, I’d had quite enough of von Igelfeld and his travels. So I half-recommend it, or recommend half of it, whichever way you want to look at it.

Ella Minnow Pea by Paul Dunn
Grade: A

There is something that potential readers of this book need to understand before attempting to read it. Ella Minnow Pea is not really a novel, or at least not a traditional one. It’s an exercise in wordplay. Some of the consequences of this are

• it is written in epistolary style.
• the plot is contrived and predictable.
• the characters are not highly developed.
• you can read it in a single sitting.

Ella Minnow Pea takes place on a fictional island, called Nollop, located off the coast of South Carolina. The island was named after Nevil Nollop, the man credited with the invention of the famous pangram “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.” The island’s residents revere language and shun technology, and Nollop is a hero to them. There is even a monument dedicated to him. On it hang lettered tiles spelling out his pangram.

One day, a lettered tile (the Z) falls from the monument and shatters on the ground. Some people think it’s a message from Nollop from beyond the grave. They town council decides that the fallen tile means Nollop no longer wants them to use the letter Z, so they ban the letter from the island. As other letters fall, they are subsequently banned, creating great difficulties for the residents of the island who want and need to communicate with one another.

The punishment system for using the banned letters is quite severe. The punishment for the first offense is a warning and public censure. The punishment for the second offense is either a lashing or time in the stocks (the offender gets to pick between the two). The punishment for the third offense is banishment.

It would be impossible for this premise to work if the characters actually spoke to one another. That’s why the author uses letters (epistles) sent back and forth between characters. It is also imperative that the authorities read the epistles (so people who use banned letters can be punished) but the authorities have to ignore the meaning of the words (so that characters can make plans for freeing themselves from the tyranny of the council). That’s one of the hardest challenges to the reader’s suspension of disbelief. In order to enjoy the book, you have to get past this and other unlikely scenarios.

As letters fall and are taken away, so is the island’s population diminished as residents leave or are banished. Toward the end of the story, few people remain on the island. However, the last few residents convince the council that should anyone write a better pangram than Nollop did (i.e., using fewer total letters) it would prove Nollop was not omniscient and that they don’t have to give up all of the fallen letters. The council agrees. Everyone tries their hand at the pangram.

This book gave me an enjoyable evening of reading. I was able to forgive its flaws, because I saw them as part of the structure necessary to frame the wordplay. I think I’d like to read it again someday just to revel in the author’s use of language (I often get caught up in the story and the meaning of the words and forget to enjoy the language itself). I also would like to try writing my own pangram.

I liked Ella Minnow Pea and I recommend if for people who love words and wordplay.

August was Rainbow of Reading Month for me. I read three “colorful” books that month in celebration.

The White Deer by James Thurber
Grade: B

The White Deer is a fairytale about a deer who turns into a princess. She sets each of three princes on a different quest. The one to return soonest is the one she will marry.

The White Deer is cute and clever, but it’s not nearly as cute or clever as I have come to expect from Thurber. I have two copies of this book: one an old softcover and one an even older hardcover. Certainly the book isn’t good enough to justify having two copies, so the softcover goes to the Chopping Block. The hardcover, because it is a first edition by one of my favorite authors, will have a place of honor in my library.

Wasn’t the Grass Greener? Thirty-Three Reasons Why Life Isn’t as Good as It Used to Be by Barbara Holland
Grade: A+

Barbara Holland was a great essayist. I am just old enough to remember the things that she talks about in these essays. The subjects, all but gone in today’s society, are things like radiators and clotheslines and childhood freedom and pianos. Oh, but she makes me ache for simpler times! Barbara Holland’s other collections of essays will go on my list of books to read someday (even Endangered Pleasures, which I already read).

Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood by Ann Brashares
Grade: A-

This is the third sequel to what was arguably a gimmicky premise. The book ought to be bad, but somehow it’s not. It’s simplistic, predictable, and even at times unbelievable, but I still identified with the girls and their problems. I remember similar times in my own life. Call Forever in Blue a guilty pleasure if you please, but I like it.

There is one thing I have to add, though. One of the rules regarding the pants is that they’re never supposed to be washed. After four years of being worn repeatedly and by multiple people and in all sorts of conditions, they must be pretty darned disgusting by now. Ew!!!!!