Seeking Inspiration

I spent several hours this morning reading through my past blog posts and very deliberately commenting on other peoples’ blogs and Facebook comments. I think I was seeking inspiration, some tiny bit of motivation to write. I just feel so blank today. I’d almost rather feel angry or sad or worried. Anything is better than nothing.

Maybe it’s the rainy weather. Or perhaps it’s the awful dream I had last night. I was surprised to find, when I looked in the mirror first thing this morning, that I did not have raccoon eyes. You see, in my dream I had forgotten to remove my eye makeup before going to sleep, and the dream felt so real that I believed in it when I woke up. The unhappiness of the dream and the effort required to bring myself back to reality somehow left me feeling tired and dazed. And blank.

Blank.

Blank.

Blank.

I hope I can find inspiration in something today.

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Golden Opportunity

Dear Marshall,

You woke me up at 2 a.m. the other night. Your diaper had leaked and you wanted someone to come take the wetness away. I did, of course. The next day, I told your father and he asked, “How long were you up?” I said it was about 45 minutes. That included time for me to wake up and change your diaper and then rock you back to sleep when you started crying again. “He fooled you!” said your father. “Just put him back into his crib and he’ll go back to sleep on his own!”

Your father was on to something, but he didn’t have it quite right. It’s more that I used your crying (which you stopped almost immediately) as an excuse to scoop you up and cuddle you for a while. You weigh over 22 pounds now. You have lost the scary fragility of a newborn. You’re a warm, solid, comfortable weight as you rest your head on my shoulder. But you’re growing up a little more very day. Moments for cuddling you get fewer and farther between and there will come a time when you won’t let me cuddle you at all. I would have been a fool to pass up such a golden opportunity, even if it did arrive at the unpleasant hour of 2 a.m.

<hugs>

Mom

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Two More Marples

The Marple books that I borrowed from the library had to go back to the library yesterday, so I do not have them for reference, but I will try to give you an idea of what they were about.

4:50 from Paddington by Agatha Christie
Grade: A

Mrs. Marple’s friend witnesses a murder on a train that’s going in the opposite direction of hers. As soon as she gets to the next station, she reports it but no body is discovered. She tells her story to Mrs. Marple, who believes her friend and suspects that  murder has been committed. The only way to prove it, though, is to find the body. Mrs. Marple is too old and frail for such a task, so she hires someone to find it for her.

A Caribbean Mystery by Agatha Christie
Grade: A

Mrs. Marple goes to the tranquil island of St. Honoré for a vacation, but it is clearly her fate to always be surrounded by death. When one of the other guests at her hotel dies overnight, only Mrs. Marple suspects murder and she’s soon proven right, but can she discover the identity of the murderer before he or she strikes again?

Agatha Christie is in some ways the total opposite of M.M. Kaye. Christie’s settings are not, IMHO, as vividly described or as interesting and yet you always feel like you’re there with the characters in a far away place, and that’s good enough for me. Both stories are unique, fun, interesting—exactly what one wants and expects from a Marple mystery!

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Another Month Over

This February wasn’t the best month for my blog. It started out well, with lots of ocarina shots, but by the end of the month the posts had gotten sparse. February is a short month, and it was perhaps not the best choice for Ocarina Month. I had hoped to show you my whole collection, but I knew from the get-go that it would be hard, if not impossible. I don’t know if I’ll continue with the ocarina posts this year or wait until next year.

I also fell behind in my book posts during February. I have four books still to write about, including two from the Marplethon. I will try to get to them later this week. I’d like to have the books handy when I write the posts, but that may not be possible, since they are all overdue now and costing me money. It is definitely time to go to the library.

But getting to the library is just one small task on a very long to-do list, and with “American Idol” on three nights a week, I don’t know how I’ll get anything done! 😉

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Stand-Up Routine

Dear Marshall,

Just a few days ago you learned how to pull yourself into a standing position. First you pulled yourself up on the bins of clothes we were using to block off a door. Next you pulled yourself up in your crib and scared us half to death because you were within maybe an inch of being able to throw yourself over the rail. Thank goodness we realized it in time to lower your mattress! Then you started using just about anything you could get your hands on, including your tired old parents, and now you stand, and fall, just about everywhere you are allowed to go. Your father and I chase after you with blankets and pillows. We arrange them around you, hoping they will keep you from knocking your head too hard. You have fallen many times, and I don’t know who is more traumatized, you or us.

Mind your head, Sweets. You only get one!

Love,

Mom

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I Tried

Yes, I felt exactly last night as I had predicted—tired and disappointed. I tried to remind myself that life is cake, but it turns out that life is actually beer and pizza!

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Piece of Cake

I’ve been having the hardest time forcing myself to write. It seems like such a difficult task and there are so many distractions. But I hate to see my blog languishing, so I am writing this small thing, whatever it may turn out to be.

Today is one of those days. I can tell already. It will be long and full. I will accomplish many tasks. Then, at the end of the day, when I am tired, I will wonder where the time went and I will feel as though I did nothing. Small, mindless, daily chores are now the stuff of which my life is made. Individually they are meaningless. But so is flour. So is salt. So is sugar. So are all the other ingredients that, if put together properly, make cake. Cake is good. Cake is greater than the sum of its parts. At the end of the day, when I am tired, I will remind myself of that.

Life is cake. 🙂

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Tons of Reading

I have done tons of reading lately, mostly lightweight stuff, so I’m going to try to get as much of it into a single post as I can.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, series by Rick Riordan

Book 1: The Lightning Thief, B+
Book 2: The Sea of Monsters, A-
Book 3: The Titan’s Curse, B+
Book 4: The Battle of the Labyrinth, B+
Book 5: The Last Olympian, A

The main character of the series is a boy named Percy Jackson. He has ADHD and dyslexia and he’s always being picked on and getting in trouble. In the first book, after being attacked by a fantastic creature that looks like something straight out of the Greek myths he has been studying in school, he finds out that he is a demigod.  Yeah, that’s right. His dad is one of gods of Olympus, and that’s why Percy has had so many problems in his life. Now he’s got another one, and it’s a biggie. His father has just been accused of using Percy to steal Zeus’s lightning bolt. Unless Percy can find that lightning bolt and return it to Zeus, the gods are going to go to war with one another.

My friend gave me the first book of the series, The Lightning Thief, as a birthday present in 2006. I liked it a lot, but didn’t love it. Still, when I heard they were making a movie out of it, I became interested in the series again. I bought The Sea of Monsters and enjoyed it, so then I had to complete the series. The last book, The Last Olympian, was my favorite. As for the movie, it was OK, but as an interpretation of the book, it stunk. I could go on and on about all the changes that were made to the characters and the plot, but I think it is enough to say that they took most of the uniqueness and fun out of the story. I recommend the series of books for being light-hearted, fast-paced, and even a little bit educational, but I do not recommend the movie.

Death in Kenya by M.M. Kaye
Grade: C+

Young Victoria Caryll has just lost her mother and she feels all alone in the world. So when her aunt invites her to return to Kenya, the land of her birth, she jumps at the chance to go home again, even though it will mean living in the same house as her ex-fiance, who is now married to another woman. She arrives in Kenya expecting a joyous homecoming, but instead finds herself among a group of people terrorized by recent events, including a murder, and it seems the murderer is not yet done . . .

Yes, I gave another of Kaye’s “Death in . . . ” series a try. It wasn’t very good. It suffered from many flaws, including heavy-handed exposition and dated language, especially in the dialogue. There were also numerous sexist comments:

  • “[His] superior male intelligence had saved her from disaster and from that day he was [her] hero.”
  • “She’s a sly little thing . . . . All women are sly.”
  • All women are excellent actresses when circumstances force them to it; and the sooner men realize that, the better!”

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

So why did I continue to read Death in Kenya? Because of the setting—Kenya at the end of the British colonial period, just after the Mau Mau uprising. Even if you’ve never heard of the uprising, I’m sure you can guess what it was about. Basically, the indigenous people finally got so ticked off at the land-grabbing British that they rebelled. And lost. Many people died. But the country gained its independence soon after, so I guess it wasn’t all bad.

Kenya was (and probably still is) a wilderness of incredible beauty and danger, and the descriptions of it were interesting enough to keep me reading. After having read so much of Kaye’s work, I can say that picking memorable locales and making them real for the reader were her strengths. Dialogue and exposition, not so much. Oh, well. Sometimes the trick to being a successful writer is knowing what your strengths are. At least she understood that well enough to use such fascinating settings for her novels, but I have to wonder if she would have done better writing more nonfiction.

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Today’s Triskelions

triscele

This is a pretty Celtic Triscele ocarina by Songstone Studios. It has four holes and is therefore easy to play, but it is high-pitched and a bit shrill (hear it here). I would probably not recommend this brand of ocarinas, unless you’re going strictly for appearance. It is certainly very attractive, even wearable.

BTW, a triscele (a.k.a. triskelion) is a symbol with three bent or curved projections radiating from a central point. I did not know that until I looked it up, so I guess I learned something new from this ocarina. And I learned it just in time to have the word handy when I discovered a triskelion in the woods today.

triskelion

Some kind of animal made this mark. I could see tiny prints leading up to one arm of the design and away from another. Following the tracks, I discovered several other strange patterns it had made in the snow. Weird, huh? Like crop circles, except in the woods.

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Day Off?

On this day. . .

Today was the first day of my “February vacation.” I decided to take this week off so that I could rest and recharge my batteries. So far, so good. I slept late, and Faithful Reader took me out to lunch and made me dinner. Yay!

But I am reminded of something I said a few weeks ago—“There’s no such thing as a day off from life.” It’s true. I can take the day off from work, but I still have a baby, a husband, a house, and three cats that depend on me. There is no break from my responsibilities to them. So on my day off, I also took care of my son for part of the day, washed dishes, scooped the litter boxes, and went to the vet’s to pick up Mojo’s prescription food, among other things. I didn’t do much relaxing, nor did I get done as many special fun things as I had hoped to.

A few weeks ago, when I said there was no such thing as a day off from life, I felt resentful about it. But not today. Today I was able to accept that my life has changed and there’s no going back. I know I have to tighten up my goals, figure out what really matters to me, and make sure those things happen. Then I have to let everything else go. That’s the only way to be happy.

And today I was happy.

🙂

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