Bad Cat, Bad Cat

Posted on 09/16/2009 by chick

Mojo ate my blueberry muffin. On a day of leaky house plumbing, leaky diapers, and the final judgment that my son isn’t gaining enough weight, Mojo’s naughtiness was especially hard to take. All I wanted was a snack. Was that too much to ask?

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Lessons in the Kitchen

Posted on 09/11/2009 by chick

Faithful Reader did a lot of cleaning in the kitchen last night, so I was surprised to see that the greasy splatter shield was still on the counter. “Why does he suddenly get lazy when it comes to the nice splatter shield that I bought him?” I said to myself. “Why can’t he be bothered to put it in the dishwasher?” Well, the dirty thing couldn’t sit there forever, so I put it in the dishwasher myself…and found that it’s too big for our dishwasher. Darn that dishwasher!

Lessons learned this morning:

  1. Husband is not lazy (or perhaps he is, but one cannot use the splatter shield as evidence).
  2. “Dishwasher-safe” doesn’t mean diddly-squat.
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He Jinxed Me

Posted on 09/10/2009 by chick

Faithful Reader worried that our son hadn’t pooped enough today. He said so and then left.

You know what happened?

Of course you do. The man jinxed me. He hadn’t been gone 10 minutes before the baby had a pooplosion. Bang! Pfft! Pfft! Whoosh!

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The Adventure of Peeps: Part II

Posted on 09/07/2009 by chick

For the first part of the story, click here.

The branches of the forest trees scraped against the dome of the dusky sky as if to sweep the stars away. Creatures of unknown kind croaked and rustled in the swamp beyond. Only a very brave or very foolish cat would step out into such a time and place, but without bravery and foolishness there would be no adventures, and an adventure was just what Peeps craved. Out she went.

She had not gone far when a large shape lunged at her. It was only the father of the family trying to push her back inside, but in the dim light she mistook him for a predator. Instinct took over and she fled. The trees, so threatening before, now seemed to promise shelter, and she plunged into the darkness. She ran blindly until, gasping for air, she could run no more. She plopped down onto the moist ground, and there she lay for some time.

The cold and dampness finally roused her and how miserable she was then! She had been whipped by branches and scratched by thorns, nibbled on by mosquitoes and scared senseless by the unfamiliarity of it all. She already missed her food dish and her favorite pillow and her loving people. She even missed the sour white cat and the arrogant black one. “I’m lost!” she cried. “I’m miles away from home and I’m so tired. I will never find my way back!”

Poor Peeps! Plump and out of shape as she was, she thought she had traveled miles, but had she simply stood up and glanced to her right, she would have seen the bright lights of the house not far away at all.

“Excuse me,” said a gravelly voice to her left…

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Admittedly Late

Posted on 09/07/2009 by chick

I am a procrastinator. It took me years just to admit it. 😉

But seriously, procrastination is a problem in my life. I am weighed down by a gigantic mass of pending tasks, from the small things, like loading the dishwasher, to the big things, like making financial decisions. Even when I start to work on tasks, I handle them slowly, methodically, as if still unconsciously trying to avoid action, as if doing them slowly enough might mean that I never get them done at all.

Just recently, when I was trying to make a decision about something, my husband said that if I waited long enough, taking action would seem weird, so I should just wait and it would become a nonissue. He said that was my usual approach to problems. Ouch!

He’s right, though. I do sometimes handle things that way. But not Sunday Stories, dammit! Yesterday was indeed Sunday and yes, I did fail to post, but I was at a holiday cookout. On a holiday weekend, Monday is as good as Sunday, so expect to see the next Sunday Story installment later today.

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Back to Work

Posted on 09/01/2009 by chick

Today was my first day of work since the baby was born. Thank God I decided to ease my way back to work by doing a couple months of part-time days. Otherwise, I don’t think I would have made it. Even four hours seemed like a lot, but I have to admit that it felt good to do something that wasn’t baby-related for a change.

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The Adventure of Peeps: Part I

Posted on 08/30/2009 by chick

Here it is, the first installment of the new Sunday Story. I didn’t have much time to work on it. I reserve the right to add or change details as I work on other installments, because Peeps has not yet told me the full story and I have no idea what’s going to happen!

The Adventure of Peeps

There once was a family with three cats. They all lived together in a big house on the edge of a forest. The oldest was a grouchy old white cat who was jealous of the younger two. She often spat at them and hissed, “Go away!” or “Get out!” The middle cat was a sleek black cat with so much charm that he was the natural favorite of the family. He did not speak much. His smug look said it all. The youngest was a gray cat who was too new to know her place in the family. This cat, whose name was Peeps, spent hours staring out the window, wondering about life on the outside.

One day, the father of the family left the front door of the house ajar. The three cats, curious as all cats are, converged on the opening. Peeps was the most adventurous and got there first. She stuck her nose out and sniffed the evening air. She stuck her ears out and listened to the whisper of the breeze and the buzzing of insects. She stuck her paw out and felt the cool ground. The new sensations were intoxicating. Peeps looked at the other cats. The white one hissed and said, “Go away!” The black cat said nothing, but smiled smugly, daring her to step outside.

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Ask and You Shall Receive

Posted on 08/29/2009 by chick

Yesterday I caught a glimpse through the kitchen window of the nasturtiums growing on our deck and I thought how unfair it was that only Faithful Reader ever got lucky enough to see hummingbirds feeding on the flowers. Then I loooked closer and there was a beautiful green hummingbird!

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Only in America

Posted on 08/26/2009 by chick

Faithful Reader and I have a big problem with small appliances. We have too many of them. I doubt that we are alone in this. Small appliances are hard to resist. They do such marvelous things. Who hasn’t watched those late-night infomercials and considered buying a rotisserie? And doesn’t the thought of fresh ice-cream make you dream of owning an ice-cream maker? If we bought either of those wonderful little machines, it would have to compete for kitchen space with all of the following—

  1. Coffee maker
  2. Coffee grinder (2)
  3. Crockpot (2)
  4. Waffle iron
  5. Hand mixer
  6. Immersion blender
  7. Blender
  8. Food processor (2, one big and one small)
  9. Toaster
  10. Toaster oven
  11. Microwave
  12. George Foreman grill (2, one big and one small)
  13. Bread machine
  14. Food dehydrator
  15. Juicer
  16. Fruit keeper

How many small appliances do you imagine the average American owns?

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Haste Makes Waste

Posted on 08/25/2009 by chick

There’s nothing like trying to put a baby to sleep at night to teach you the wisdom of “haste makes waste.” No matter how tired you are, no matter how badly you want to put the snoozing baby into his cradle, you have to wait until his limbs go completely limp. You have to make sure he’s 100% asleep. If you don’t, he’ll wake up as soon as he hits the mattress. Then all the work you did to get him to sleep will be wasted and you’ll have to start again.

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